Reason

Must we have a reason or purpose for everything we do? An ultimatum? Bargaining tool? If you give me this I'll do that for you? Bribe would be a better description or hidden agenda.... shhhh, don't tell.

A well ordered running household, I think, depends on everyone pitching in and helping, either without being told and doing it when they see it needs to be done, or doing it when asked without any sassy mouth about it.

There is harmony in that and satisfaction. Life outside is noisy and distracting. The moments of peace and quiet are welcomed. Understanding and acceptance is a blessing. Love is a gift.

Neglectful of Favorite things.

It's already 9 AM, we've been up since 5 AM although once I sat down in my comfy electric reclining chair I went back to sleep. We have an odd routine these days of waking up early for no reason. Well, we're retired so it doesn't matter. We watch the weather or local news and putter around on the computer, Bob does anyhow because if I can get away with it I snooze. Six o'clock the national news comes on and I try to be awake enough to catch that on FoxNews.

I have enjoyed blogging, but have gotten distracted with a couple other things the past year. I guess it all started last March when our truck driver son Don introduced us to Facebook. I am aware Facebook has been around for a very long time, but I never got attached to it until our Don said something and I knew it would be a good way to keep in touch when he was on the road. He has an Apple laptop. Husband Bob got hooked too, and we got started with two applications of farming - although both of us are city children we did have a real farm for a period of time in our life so I guess we reminisce of those hard working days - it was a good life. We enjoy playing Farmtown & Farmville but it's a silly daily commitment - isn't that so funny!!! We think it's a riot the realization something so simple could take so much of our time. Oh well, we're retired.

In addition to blogging and Facebook, I am totally driven like bees to honey with Twitter. The individuals I follow are more political, but I do have a variety - like Martha Stewart, Copykat Recipes, MC Hammer, and many others. Of the political people I follow, there are a few who also have chosen to follow me like Dr. Henry Kissinger, Karl Rove, and others - a compliment for sure. I am a regular middle class common person certainly no high class education - I think I have some common sense and can write legibly to keep up and keep me in the game.

I have been rewarded over and over with these mediums of communication. I have broaden my sense of individualism with the choices I can select whether Twittering, Blogging or on Facebook. Oh, and most important for me is the contacts I have formed and reunions of old friends who I grew up with or those we use to live nearby. It has been glorious finding these dear friends as well as meeting new friends. All the children I taught in Religion classes at our Church have grown up and with their own children - and they are teaching and active in our church there. So gratifying to reach out and touch the past and present.

I will try to do better blogging. I have found this gift to be a treasure for my soul - especially the political blogs I have. Having the opportunity to write my innermost thoughts is very self-fulfilling. Maybe it also helps bring relief for those worrisome problems too.

Spring has been upon us here in the desert southwest for a couple of weeks now. Our hyacinths have bloomed and spread their glorious fragrance many times over but have now passed and left only the green stems that blend in with the new spring flowers blooming. I have never seen our spring flowers look so lovely. We've seen more variety of tulips than ever and we give praise to the Father for the rains we've had this season for these gifts of beauty.

Bob has planted a couple tomato plants in a new spot - with luck we might have fresh tomatoes. We have never had luck growing tomatoes here although I do know there are some people we have heard about that do get lucky, so we know it can be done. We don't want to invest a lot of money in new plants unless necessary because we do still have intentions of selling this house, eventually.

I do sincerely wish you a wonderful day. May God bless you abundantly with all your needs. Take care.

Condolences

A sweet blog with a sad ending for a Marine's wife. Please check out this blog.

Is being retired an excuse for laziness?

I have become absolutely downright lazy. I don't care. The house is picked up and laundry gets done. I do the dishes and clean up the kitchen, but I don't dust until I absolutely have to - my daily movement is minimal. What's become of this life?

Bob says "we're retire, we can do what we want!" It's embarrassing! He's right, though, I must admit. So I take consternation in the fact of life that I did work hard until a few years ago, now I never work up a sweat which I should. My butt looks like the seat of my electric chair. Do I care, heck no! As long as I have a good hair do and put some make up on to go out, I'm okay with that. There are blouses and coats to hide my butt - I'm an old lady, what do I care!

Bob and I have both lost our youthful physic. It is not a laughing matter but we don't care - well, we do, but it's at the bottom of a long list of important things to worry about or not. I know for a fact if anything happens to him I would definite not be looking for a replacement - no one would do for me what he does. He treats me like a queen. I never thought I'd see this day and I am so very grateful for it and everyday I let him know how much I love him and how much I appreciate him. At our age, we never know if it might be our last. I know we are both in descent health, but there are pains, and God doesn't send a warning message to get ready. He just knocks and swoosh its all over.

When my mom died, I was expecting it, but the last words spoken to her were hurried, not my fault, but she was so ill, and the messages were misconstrued through my dad - it was awful for me. She and I were absolutely best friends, tender, loving, trusting, laughing, close mother daughter friends. I will never forget the last telephone call because it wasn't as I would have wanted it to be. I know the last time I saw her I had flown out to Vegas from our farm in Kentucky and I left her as she was in bed. She was so ill she couldn't see me off as I got into the taxi to the airport. It was the farewell I should remember - it was sweet, with mom being humorous as was her nature, but no, I hold on to the sad remembrances of the telephone call.

I know how those final moments remain as a non erasable ink blot, never ever to be changed, so I try not to let a day go by that my husband doesn't realize how much I appreciate him.

I know you may wonder why I don't talk about my kids in the same way, but I've attempted to reach out to them, but they are still oblivious to life - they can't accept the fact we are old. One son said to me when Bob was going through his cancer radiation treatments and I expressed my worry - he said "everybody dies sometime" - wow! cruel I thought, coming from my son, but that is his mentality. So, I hold on to my husband.

I will say about my adult kids, they are strange, you might blame me but I refuse that blame. I know I could have been firmer, and I was when I thought necessary - today, I would send my son out of the house packing in a heart beat, but there is a child. My conscience wouldn't let me live one day longer if I kick a child out of my large home. We are certainly not wealthy, but we have a roof over our head and food on the table. The children shouldn't be punished for the sins and attitude of the parents. I will say, this son is a devoted father, he is wonderful to his daughter. However nice both of my boys are they do have weird ideas and lifestyles I don't understand.

My mother-in-law didn't like me, but I treated her as I thought God would want me to treat her. To the day of her death, she proclaimed that I was an awful person. No matter that I never cheated on her son and I was devoted, and cared for Brian, raised a grandson and helped a daughter who was mentally disturbed , yes, I was an awful person. I don't regret that I gave her what I thought God wanted - I let God be my guide, just as I do with my children. They will feel the pain of their actions one day. Just as my mother-in-law lost so much being so negative and jealous in her death.

Reaping the rewards God has given us while we are on this earth whatever our life is and being grateful for them is my daily prayer. Through all the turmoil of life, I know I am blessed. And as Bob and I go through each of our days of retirement, lazy, doing the absolutely bare necessities we can laugh at how silly it all can be. Putting off until tomorrow what we should have done today is our favorite saying. And so far it's worked pretty good.

Pleasant evening

What is your favorite thing to do in the evening after fixing dinner and doing the dishes? I'm sure you have routines, but there must be something that really is so relaxing and happens so seldom so you really appreciate the time. Tonight I had the opportunity to experience an evening of oneness. This is a unique occasion lately, don't know why, but Bob and I have gotten into a particular routine of doing the same thing every night.

Tonight I came back to my office and put a George Strait CD in my player and cranked up the sound. This room is my hideout, although I am not far away if anyone needs or wants me, but far away I am out of sight. I can sing off key all I want without any comments.

I think we all need that special place to go to be alone to reclaim ourselves. Raising a family, working, tending spouse's needs and all the other claims on our time we forget to be calm and listen. I know there's no listening with George Strait singing, but in the time that I've been here, I've posted photos on my Facebook page, commented on Twitter, did my Farmtown and Farmville, did some bills, and wrote some emails. I know that doesn't see like earth shattering stuff but for me it's therapy being alone in my own environment because I don't have that opportunity that often.

What's your favorite relaxing pastime?

Today's Remembrance

Today my husband went to a memorial service for a young woman who was only 26 years young. Bob had worked with her father and mother at Hoover Dam. We heard about the death of the beautiful girl through a friend of mine whose husband works at the dam as well. The mother of the young woman had been friends with Bob and they often had discussed situations that happened as they raised their children. This young woman who died was their only child.

She was doing what she loved. She was riding her horse, something spooked the house and it threw the young girl and the horse fell on her. That is the story I was told. She died instantly.

In April, we will look back 10 years since our son died and the pain and sorrow is still very real. Does it get easier - no, it doesn't. Everyday we miss him. I cried when I heard about her death because I knew the pain of the mother.

Bob said he never attended a funeral service where there were so many people in attendance. There were no parking spaces so people had to park on the street and walk a distance. There was standing room only. She was well known in her community and well liked.

Bob said it was all he could do to walk in the building. His pain was strong because he knew. He had to sit down and compose himself before approaching his friends to express our condolences. I couldn't attend, I just couldn't. I cried as I watched Bob get ready to go, I cried as I watched Bob drive down the street. I didn't want to be so out of control at this time in respect of those dear people. There will be another time to be with them.

Bob said they were handling it better than him. Well, you do, don't you. While everything is going on, and everyone is around to console you, you are busy taking care of business and seeing that everything and everyone is taken care of - you think of everyone else at a time like this ========until everyone is gone, until the last relative goes home, until you are in that house alone with only the sound, the smell, the quiet, then it hits you, and it never ever goes away.

Bob said they had a prepared slide show of her life with the music she enjoyed playing in the background and it was very soothing. Her girlfriends had poems, her boyfriend spoke a few words to personal tribute and their minister and others gave a memorial as well. It must have been a beautiful tribute to a very loved woman who left this life too soon - she left this life to go to the Father. The Father wanted our son Brian sooner than we wanted to give him up too. It is the most difficult experience to come to terms with in life, giving up a child before their time, what we believe is their time.

I can't stop crying today.

Time to clean house

A couple of things...................Hope you had a special Valentine's Day yesterday! Granddaughter went to her friend's house I'm so glad, she needs to be around kids her age more often. We finally decided to go out to eat, I didn't even make pancakes for breakfast. Went to Metro Pizza, our favorite place to eat, a tad pricey, but service is terrific and food outstanding. Nice time.

Must get in gear and get some spring cleaning and clear out going. The temp is warming up here in southern desert area, so maybe that's a stimulant to get busy. Only three plus some months and the kids - Tom and Tine will be home, so as slow as I work these days, I'd best get on it. They'll be with us until they find someplace permanent to live. Both will work and go to college full time, and we'll have our grand-dog too - yippee - really, can't wait! I miss having a dog in the house. We've had some kind of animal since we were first married. After my yellow lab, Angel, died a couple years ago, Bob said no more until we move - especially for showing the house when it's up for sale - don't know when that will be.

My thought for today has been centered on regrets. Do you have regrets? Do you wish you had made a decision differently when it was in your control - but you made it one way and look back and regretted the choice.

I have several regrets, admittedly my choices were my decision without any pressure. The most recent was several years ago. I made a decision to go in a direction taking a job which seemed the safest at the time and with that came opinions about the previous job. I am easily led and have a big mouth. I regret my actions so much because I lost a good friendship. There was a lot to this particular experience, but I know in my heart how I behaved, what I did and what I said was tacky. I am gullible. Now I am living with a guilty conscience. I have attempted to patch it up, but it's not happening. This was one of those things where you learn the lesson to be responsible for what you say and to guard your opinions because they can come back to haunt you.

Busy Monday here in our household. Beautiful sunny day out, temps up near the 70s. Gathering things to give to Charity - we have lots of things we need to clear out and I don't do yard sales. Clear outs are my focus this week. Need to clean out the spring flower beds too. The spring bulbs have about four inch growths on them and there's winter debris around them which is a distraction. Bob and I will work together today to accomplish a few enjoyable necessary tasks.

Hope you are all well and life is good where ever you are. May God bless you abundantly with good health and a great day. Take care.

Valentine's Day

It's 8 AM, just finished watching our usual Sunday morning program and now Bob is taking out the trash and will feed the birds, then back to bed. We woke up and GOT up at 3:30 this morning - it is the craziest thing. I guess it's a bad habit we've started but when you're retired and have no where to go, who cares, it really doesn't make any difference how many naps you take or how long you sleep.

Since Christmas, it's been pretty quiet around here - Bob did have to get up and out of the house early when we was taking his radiology treatments, but they are finished. And the treatments made him extremely tired, so there was a reason for the weariness, but normally, it's just a "whatever' kind of lazy environment around here.

Our Valentine's day has started off differently than any of the others in the past - there's no chocolates, no flowers - although we did buy a potted mum plant to replace one that passed away and he wanted to leave it on the table "to enjoy" for awhile - he said. We're not going out to eat, but I do plan on cooking him pancakes if he will prepare the rest - he likes a big breakfast, I don't. So, that is our agreement, and I'll see about the rest of the day and maybe come up with something special for dinner. I'll have to check out the freezer for ribs or something.

It looks like spring outside and it is a beautiful day. There are lots of birds hanging around, feeding and doing their spring thing. We started walking finally. I am a disaster at exercising. I use to go to the gym and do aerobics for an hour then ride the exercise bike for 30 minutes. Heck now I'm lucky to walk it around our part of our acre property that is vacant twice without breathing hard. Of course, we both still have the knee problems which we haven't done anything about yet, but if we take it easy it's okay. I am making a concerted effort to change my activity this spring and with Bob's support, I will succeed. Knee surgery is on hold for both of us - for now.

We did buy lovely Valentine's cards for each other although it was at the same time, at the same store. Boy, that was uncomfortable and sort of funny! He had to leave the area as I searched and I had done the same for him. After we got home I had Kevin take Bob's card out of the bag so Bob could hide it. Seems sort of goofy! We haven't exchanged the cards yet - probably over pancakes this morning - oh, he did suggest going out for coffee and Crispy Creme donuts for breakfast, but I declined, rather eat at home.

I hope you have a lovely day! Take care and God bless.

Computers are Frustrating Machines!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the grand scheme of life, there are several goals I am striving to achieve in my lifetime. A couple I have my doubts of reaching but one task at hand, today, here and now, within reach is driving me nuts. Just when I think I've got a good handle on it, yeikes! something else stands in my way. This isn't for everyone. Some of my friends will think this is so boring. Those who know me well wouldn't be surprised but would most likely run away in the opposite direction. I don't have any friends to interact with on this either, even hubby is in the dark and for the most part, I'd rather he stay out of it. I know I have written recently how wonderful he is, but there are dark sides of our relationship - disagreements on how some things should be handled, dealt with, done, ended, stopped. Computers is a very huge sore spot between us - he has his and I have mine - he is absolutely positively not permitted to touch my computers. He puts a curse on my stuff. We have different ideas, so to be safe no, nadda, nil.

Ok, so you've probably come to the conclusion it is a computer related thing, yes, that's correct! For ever and ever, I have wanted to achieve organizing my photos in some type of filing system on one computer. Seems simple enough but I have blotched it up so many times - I didn't need Bob's help either. DON'T say it - no, I am not asking for his help.......no way!

So now I have this new laptop, I've gathered all my memory cards and sticks and back ups and copied everything important from my other HP tower which still has Vista - I am going to install Windows 7 on it and want to get all my important data and photos off it just in case - they do recommend that in the instructions. I have recognized my "doo-doo" mistakes throughout the years and realized that I have copied numerous photo over and over numerous times, so I have umpteen duplicated copies of MANY photos.

Unfortunately to my huge disappointment I discover this computer has at least three different photo programs and the one that pops up to show the photos from my memory card is horrible - its installed HP programs. I've tried everything to find where I can change the default without any luck - they do this on purpose, I think, to keep us crazy. Oh, my Holy Mother of God, Our Father, who art in Heaven, please help me!!! Nothin is simple! Then I found my Canon camera CD with a photo program on it and installed it, thinking it should be the best, wrong! holy cow, it was so complicated, even I couldn't figure it out - it was my best guess the program was for advanced photographers which I am not. I just want a simple, but good photo program that will help me catalog my photos appropriately. I have discovered a way to open my photos at last in the program I want but it is time consuming and I know it should be easier than this.

At this point, I have decided to take the time and attempt to sort out the duplicated photos and delete then copy every photo onto the portable media drive I have which holds 350 gigs and that's a lot of photos.

I remember the days when we put our photos in Family albums - remember the day of Kodak 200 speed film, and then came CDs, oh yes, I have loads of them too but at least I have photos from the CDs. Today we have the opportunity to save our photos on the Internet, but in my opinion not everything is safe on some Internet technical storage format somewhere out there in the universe. I do like Picasa - a Google storage format, but with the insecurity of our economical market and the possibility that Google could be sold, I don't want to trust anyone with my photos or any priceless information.

I have to find a hiding place for all my little digital memory thingies, a place I won't forget where I've put them. The advantage of the Portable media Drive is that it has a carrying case plus fits into the HP tower computer for backing up data, with connectors for all computers for back up too.

We've put selling the house on the back burner for now. Bob's cancer treatments are finished and he has a check up which will tell us where he stands with that. Getting knee surgery is next on the list, but I will wait for Bob to get his done. I'm going no where with a diet - too much stress and worry. The kids will be home in June and maybe then we'll know what we'll do about the house situation. We are looking on the realtor.com website on the Internet for homes everyday and until something jumps out and knocks us out, we're here for the duration and I'll be at this computer trying to straighten out the mess I've gotten my photos into.

If anyone out there in Blogville has a suggestion for a good photo program for cataloging --- please, help!!!!

God bless you all. Take good care, keep warm and keep safe.

What do you want for Valentine's Day?

Or better yet - what value do you or your lover put on Valentine's Day and how you celebrate?


Hubby and I were just now chatting about Valentine's Day, actually I brought it up, wondering out loud when it was. I was having a memory lapse and couldn't remember what today's date was and when was Valentine's Day. Ok! so it's next Sunday, what now? I apprehensively glance over at him. He is sitting in his chair to the right of me about ten feet away working on his laptop computer while we watch the CBS Sunday Morning program, we never miss it, and I ask him the $24,000.00 question "what are we going to do for Valentine's Day?" His response............silence. Typical....after 45 years, I know it's up to me. He is not the "surprise ya!" kind of guy.

Oops! but then I remember, I already have his Valentine's gift. It wasn't wrapped up in pretty red paper with a giant bow, in fact, it came in a cardboard box with a handle. I was thinking what is one woman's diamond is another's set of sheets, although I prefer pearls over diamonds. And, for sure, not every woman would be so satisfied with my gift that came in a cardboard box, unwrapped. So, I ask "What appeals to you?" What would really set you off and make you ooohhhhh and aaahhhh when you open your Valentine's Day gift? Even you guys, being serious of course - I think of giving my husband a nice cooked meal or going out for dinner to his favorite spot, we don't exchange gifts on Valentine's Day, so I don't have to scan my brain wondering what to give him. I wonder why it's all about the female. Seems sort of one sided. We do exchange cards. He is difficult to buy for, he is the guy who has everything. I'll have to think on that one.

We moved from our designated sitting sites in the living room to the kitchen table for breakfast and now Bob has left the area and is off to take his morning nap - we're retired, but even on Sundays he has routine naps. The area on his forehead where he was receiving radiation treatments for cancer looks good. I hope it is healed on the inside. I don't know how the doctors know just by looking.

Bob has given me many gifts in our years together. He struggles to pick out just the right one. He says I am difficult to choose for and I know it is because we have different tastes. As I've gotten older I face the reality of our differences. It must be realized there's more to love than gifts and the words on greeting cards although the words are true and everlasting and at times necessary to hear.

Today he is very gifted in giving and caring for the simple comfort in life. I waited on him "hand and foot" when we were young - because I wanted to. I catered to his every need because I wanted to make him happy. If it sounds icky and too mushy, it is, but it worked for us. Now, today he cares for me. I have medical needs and I don't have to ask twice or ask at all, he is there, he can predict. He does so willingly, with a very caring heart and a beautiful smile. He would do anything for me - and I know our devotion and dedication from day one has paid off. He needed me when I was young and strong to be his strength and at his side, today as I have lost my vitality I have his strength and devotion as I grow old.

His gift in a cardboard box came from one of our favorite stores. We were shopping for a few items only a few days ago and came across it at the end of the counter. It is something he knew I thought about getting eventually after a few bills were paid off. He said he couldn't resist the glistening and pitiful foreboding begging look in my eyes especially when I saw the price and knew the value plus the warranties - yes, I am thoughtful of those things. He nodded yes, and I think the excitement vibrated through the rest of the store - I have no proof of that but it felt that way to me. I grinned through the remainder of the shopping trip and couldn't wait to get home to open my cardboard box. I had to share my happiness with every employee I saw until the last when I actually picked it up from that special holding place. Jubilee, yippee!

My special Valentine's Day gift was a laptop computer, the one I'm typing on - with Windows 7 - now that is so exciting to me. Bob and I share many things together and he understands how I enjoy having a top notch working machine and it matters to me. I can't wear it around my neck or on my finger, but I do use it from early morning to late evening for all sorts of tasks. This is the best gift of all - finally a computer with Windows 7!

So, speaking as a well traveled been around the block sweetheart, Valentine's Day is so very nice for the young, but when you have years behind you, having a lover who knows your needs and provides your desires when needed, Valentine's Day is everyday.

Fiddle-Faddling around.....

It's Saturday morning around 9AM, watched the morning news and the weather channel, then did Facebook, Farmtown and Farmville and emails. I was surprised to read my friends posts from west Kentucky and surrounding areas post on Facebook they have 8 inches of snow. All I'm seeing on the Weather Channel is Washington DC and their snow fall.

I do get aggravated with the regular cable Weather Channel sometimes, then neglect the weather in the west and are more partial to only the east coast. So here we go again - they left out the mid west. Don't they realize there are plenty of people and weather there in that region of the U S!!! Get real folks at the Weather Channel!!! Hello!

There is total cloud cover in the Las Vegas Valley right now. I can imagine Mt. Charleston is covered with snow, which is a good thing. Our trees are barren but there have been as many as 50 birds resting in the three trees in the back yard. I'm watching it drizzle and I know there is a bigger rain heading our way. When I write about our rain I feel guiltily weird because some of you may have gotten more than your share and I wonder if you are thinking "what's up with that?" Well we've been in a real drought situation. Our Lake Mead is drying up. We need more than one season of rain to fill it back up to the level it was years ago, so that's kinda why I talk about it often.

Bob and I are home alone this weekend. At this moment, the only noise in the house is the air blowing through the heater vents. It is lovely. I can hear the rain falling outside and the birds singing. I enjoy peace and quiet. I love my kids and grand kids deeply, but I cherish the quiet! Bob, for some reason, likes to have the TV on with no sound - personally I like no TV - no distractions.

On a different level - what are your plans and hopes for this year? Do you have something special to look forward to? Will you travel? Or, are you in a conundrum of sorts with so many things to sort out that some days you feel like you'll never get it straight?

I'm like that right now - in a conundrum of decision. In my lifetime, I've never been in this state of mind, is it my age, the situation, too many people involved therefore too many considerations? I never worried about the too many people before, it just all seemed to work out, but it seems like the end with this decision, finality. The last one, so it has be to good. It is a heavy worry weight that I can't get a grip on to solve. Maybe it isn't time yet to solve the problems. I've always trusted in God and knew He was guiding me in all my decisions. There was a peace about it, I knew the decision was right. It's almost like He's telling me to sit still, there's something more to happen, there's more to it, just wait. But, sometimes I have a fear that maybe I'll be too late. I am concerned about our future as so many are today. I know we could screw up badly then be in the poor house if we don't act, but then maybe not - maybe acting impulsively is wrong, maybe that's why the feeling of "wait!" Nothing is falling in place - if it was right, it always did, and it worked. Not today, there always seems to be something new come into the picture of our life.

I complain and grumble about my life, but I am blessed. I see some friends - not all - believe me I wouldn't have wanted to walk in their shoes either any more than they would have wanted to walk in mine and I don't mean that in a negative obnoxious way - but a couple of friends have succeeded to the top in their career field and have had the freedom to travel. I chose another direction of being a stay at home mom. I worked sometimes and after the kids grew up, I had several different and wonderful jobs and attended college all of which helped me realize I had it where I needed it - the creativity and smarts - and if I had to, or needed to work, I could find a job. My life choice was to care for my husband and my family's needs. I'm not saying that working mothers aren't dedicated and wonderful at what they do. I know many women who could handle it all - but for my husband of now 45 years, I knew what he liked, for him this was the route I choose, I knew what was required, no words spoken, I just sensed it.. So I get upset with myself sometimes for thinking about the other direction I could have gone. If I had failed to follow my heart which was and is my love, all things would have been different.

With that thought in mind ----through our belief and trust in God, does our faith instilled us with a "homing device" which is connected to HIM and through that connection we are led in the direction which best serves HIM to love and be a better person?

Waking up with a headache

Good morning! How are you today? Have you had your coffee or tea yet? Breakfast? It's early in our home but not as early as we usualy get up - thank goodness! I don't understand why we wake up so early and I know it can't be for a cup of fresh coffee. I'd received many comments from friends who are retire - especially woman - who wake up everyday around 4AM. I know when I have to get up and I don't want to, I can sleep, so wondering if it could be a mind over matter psychology! I haven't had my first cup of coffee. I know it will help with the headache which almost feels like a hangover headache, but unfortunately there's no reason for a hangover!

Bob's still having symptoms of being so tired after radiation treatments were ended. It is very difficult for him mentally to adjust to these feelings. He is comforted by the fact there is nothing pressing for him to do so he naps peacefully and often. There's something to be said about retirement without strings and obligations.

I have not done any "homework" on this cancer thing so I know dit-squat about this. It must be part of getting senile since any type of motivation to check it out is nil. I don't want to push it aside with the thought "ah, there's nothing wrong" because that could result in a huge breakdown in the end not being prepared. As I posted previously, I cried thinking of losing him. After that post, I cried for several more days. I'm all cool now - I think its a matter we need to get out and do something.

As you know if you follow my blog, my son and granddaughter live with us. Alex is nine years old and very active. She's on the Honor Roll, enrolled in a drama class and a reading class held early in the morning once a month - she really needs and enjoys the extra activity. My son still hasn't found a job and his car got repossessed. We only have one vehicle since my husband retired, so you can see the situation. Alex has the brightest disposition. She is in the preteen stage of a little girl life. She does things like sing and dance around her room, when Kevin pops his head in she screams at the top of her lungs. Kevin is getting a taste of the reaction to come from a little girl growing up and wanting her privacy. She does have a girlfriend and they talk on the telephone everyday. It is so cute. I know, it's not really "cute" but it is special because Alex needs to have contacts beyond our home. My son is sort of possessive parent without a partner to help and he keeps her close at hand. Her girlfriend is a sweet girl and her parents are responsible. It's a good thing.

Yesterday she wore a really cute blue sweater that Bob and I bought her for Christmas. She looked adorable. After school, having changing her clothes, I noticed she had her sweater rolled up under her arm, she was heading out the door with Uncle Don and her dad. They were heading out to the laundromat to wash large items. I asked her about the sweater and then she showed me - it was stained with tye-dye dark blue color. Not in a specific design, but straight across the waistline with splatters of dark blue all over the front of the light blue sweater - so much so the sweater instantly was downgraded from a dressy outfit to a play outfit.
I've tried to wash the tye-dye ink out without success - I think that ink is made to last. If any readers have any ideas to help me get this stain out, I would welcome the suggestions.

No big plans for today except finish today what I didn't do yesterday and be thankful for what we have. I am grateful.

I hope all is well with your family. God bless you! Take good care.

Mostly cloudy

The weather reports says it will be that - mostly cloudy, does the weather outlook sometimes relate to your disposition of the day?

For this cloudy day I don't mind because I know we need rain badly here in our area and with the clouds there may be rain to follow, for which I would be very grateful! And, too, we are very fortunate that it is well known the desert sun always shine. I've lived here for so long, I am not sure how I would adjust to the environment of no or partial sun most of the time. We've thought often of leaving this area but the dry heat and lack of tornadoes are a factor to me for not moving.

It is a mellow mood for the beginning of this Tuesday, Groundhog Day - who really believes in that groundhog anyhow - I can't put my brain around what is and what isn't - if he sees his shadow or doesn't, so what. What if there's six feet of snow on the ground and the sun is out does that mean spring is around the corner? I don't get it.

But, if you come to see my front yard, like I wrote yesterday, you would know for a fact spring is just around the corner here - maybe Jean's Yard would be a better predictor of spring that some goofy groundhog!!

Well, that's all I've got for today. Other than - do you know what you're going to do for the rest of your life? I know from the way I feel today I probably don't have long, but I've thought about taking some college English writing classes on line. I know my grammar could do with some work and writing is what I enjoy doing. I'll keep you informed.

Hope you have a wonderful day. Keep warm and dry - I noticed there's lots of rain in most parts of the United States today. May God bless you abundantly and may you feel His presence when you most need it! Take good care.

Not much happening......

Sitting here watching winter sports on the TV with the sound off - do ever get tired of the noise? As I've written before there are several people who live here besides me and Bob, so there's always noise or so it seems. Sometimes you get to the point where you don't even hear anything, then all of a sudden it's like your brains wakes up and tells your ears "boy, it's noisy!" I guess I did that tonight. We're watching the Luge and a guy just slipped off his sled, slidding the snowy path, wheeee.

I love the downhill in skiing. The participants posturing is so beautiful. I also enjoy the speed skating - awesome. I guess I prefer the winter sports to the summer.

Bob has finished his radiation treatments but he's been very tired and not feeling in good spirits. It's all a part of the treatment, that's what I hear. Its okay because there's nothing pressing for him to worry about - I'm glad. If there was stuff to be done then he would really be upset. Sometimes things work out for the best although I wouldn't say being ill is for the best, but timing is everything - gee, that's bizarre. I am digging a deeper hole, so I'll just move on.

It's unreal to face the fact this is the first of February already. I accomplished some tasks in January but not enough certainly to brag about - but I stuck to my list and goals, so that's something. Valentine's Day will be here before I know it - I'd better get to the store and get Bob a card. I don't know if we'll do anything special, but we should. We spend so much time with our kids and grandkids that we do need to be alone, maybe a night at the Hampton Inn. There is a Hampton Inn near our Costco store, maybe we could go there - the Hampton Inn to spend the night, not the Costco, although Costco is Bob's favorite place to go!!! He doesn't feel like driving out of town right now. It would be a hoot!! It would seem more likely to go to one of the hotels on the strip but the Las Vegas strip will be packed on Valentine's day - its a big time for couples getting married.

I spotted two beautiful yellow crocus in the front flower bed and the hyacinths are popping out of the ground. We have so many robins and the doves and quails are eating the grass seed Bob scattered on the front lawn. Spring is right around the corner from our house.

I am pleased to announce through my Facebook postings and searches I located a grandson I haven't seen in over 10 years. His mother was disturbed with my son, the grandson's father, over money and before I knew it she stopped talking to me - this was right after my son Brian died too. I could never figure that one out because we had been good friends. I haven't heard anything from my grandson other than we are "friends" on Facebook and I am thankful for that - it's something for now.

I hope your life is good and you are well. May God bless you with His abundant blessings and keep you safe and healthy.

What's love got to do with it?

Tears! Have you ever been so tore up, upset, and sad, you couldn't stop crying? It made me so ticked off when I am in public and I'm overcome with the thought of something so close to me and I burst out crying. I bite my tongue, hold my breathe and do anything else I can think of to make me stop shedding those tears.

You see, my husband has a cancer spot on his forehead. It has been diagnosed as a basal cell carcinoma. It is the most common cancer and treatable. He had his last radiation treatment today. The spot on his head from the treatment is redness about the size of a baseball with scabs from sores on the area. He did have the choice to have surgery and have the cancer area cut out, with the probably of having to have a skin graft. He decided to have the radiation treatment instead.

I believe the doctor and nurse - they seem very reliable. They say he has done fine and they will see him again in a month unless he feels the need to come in sooner. The only other side effect has been being very tired. He's retired and manages to get the tasks completed he wishes to complete, so it's no big deal for him to rest, play on his computer, or take naps. We have no pressing schedules around here.

The sadness overwhelms me when I think of being without him. We've been together almost 46 years. I joke I don't want to train another man, but in reality I don't want anyone else. When I saw him for the first time I thought he was gorgeous, then when we met and danced for the first time, it was magic. Within four and a half months we were married - and no, I wasn't pregnant. It was love, magic, genuine outrageous, marvelous love.

Today, I still enjoy watching him even though the energized walk he had as a young man has turned into a slow, sometimes wobble - yes, and to add, we both wobble these day - its those damn knees - you know, time for a total knee replacement, both of us. Old age, crap, why when we should be able to really enjoy our life.

I woke up a few years ago after he had retired and saw him in a different light, a different prospective, and I was surprised. When you are so busy raising your kids, helping your parents and grandparents, neighbors and being active in church, the days pass and sometimes you take your closest partner for granted - you don't want to, but it just happens. I realize he had a huge sense of humor. We have always laughed from the moment I met him, but I never stopped to realize how funny he was - I was shocked at myself for not realizing it. Our grandson made that remark recently. We had taken him and his girlfriend out to a German restaurant for dinner. Bob and I were being silly and we were cracking up laughing - I have a loud weird laugh, Bob's laugh is sweet but his face gets real red and tears explode from his eyes - humorous tears from laughter. Tom was so shocked, he and Tine were so surprised - they had to join in because it was so contagious. He had not seen Bob explode in tearful laughter before. Realizing the depth of his humor was only the tip of the iceberg, it is amazing how you can be married to the same person for so many years, yet still find out new things about that person.

One bond we have always had is a physical one of holding hands. He told me once it was sensual for him. There is something very tender and content in holding hands. I don't remember a time when we went anywhere that unconsciously we didn't hold hands - the contact, his guiding me, leading me, protecting me, his loving way. After all these years, I still enjoy touching him on his arm or kissing his cheek. Our kisses are still as tender and endearing as they were when we were young, maybe even more.

When you are old, life's moments have more meaning so it would be reasonable to say love is deeper and more meaningful. We are very lucky to have survived life's challenges and tragedies and are on a higher plateau than when we started as young lovers.

So, rightfully so, the mere thought of any possibility of an illness ever so slight that could take him away from me brings me to the brink of tears and there is no holding me back when the mood is right, there is no stopping the thoughts of my life without him. He is my right hand, left hand, and my man. I know, I know, life is life. But, I can't imagine life without him and I won't, so I let the tears fall as they may because its all I have right now. I am thankful for his presence and so grateful for the life he has given me. So, what's love got to do with it - everything, nothing less, the highest element of emotion all wrapped up in Love between two people.

Where has the time gone and what have I accomplished?

A few weeks back I received a newsletter type of correspondence from a person that had been the president of our senior class from the school I graduated back in the 60s. At first I thought it was a letter requesting money or to inform me of a get together, but there were emotions behind the written words. It was odd because I had not ever received a personal type note from Pat.

As I read through the message I realized that he was reaching out to all who read to share the parting of one of our classmates. The revelation of a friend's death was written as a postscript and last sentence, but the mood of the note was remorseful. Pat expressed sadness without saying any word remotely resembling his mood. He reached out to all those who were having problems and difficulties this day.

The message that has fresh in my mind from the note was one sentence that reflected on past days, meditating on what was and what wasn't accomplished, dreams that never came true and the place where we have reached. When I was young in high school, I knew I wanted to get married and have children, but I didn't know what potential I had. I lacked the confidence to respond to my gifts. I did marry a wonderful man and we are still married going on 46 years. I was working at a successful position when we met and would have been upwardly mobile since at 19 I was a supervisor and instructor at the company I worked for at that time. But, love took me away, and before having children I had only one other job at a bank. It was an entry level position, but would have been a secure job. My husband had other ideas, and my mother taught me well to remain true to my husband so we were off, moving to many other places, other adventures, more children, challenges including running a farm.

Since receiving the note from Pat and feeling the depth of remorse about the loss of my friend and classmate, I have thought of what I have missed, I thought what my dreams really were, what could I have done had I taken a different path. I was not able to work at any job regardless of how good they were or how well I did the work because something always came up such as we moved, my husband needed me, or the last time I left a valuable job with great benefits because of my son. I also gave up taking college classes as was my goal to secure a college degree no matter how old I was.

The dreams at that time was not to be. One dreadful early morning a telephone call put a stop to it all and changed my life forever. My son had been injured in a non-combat accident while serving in Germany with the Army. From the year of 1989 through his passing in 2000, my life was totally dedicated to caring for him, raising the son of my daughter who was mentally unstable and hospitalized, plus keeping our home running smoothly for my husband and other two sons and other grandchildren. My husband and I worked together through it all.

Today I have missed out on financial benefits other girls I know will receive when they retire. The friends who have retired are receiving substantial income from all the years they worked. They have built a social life and are active in other aspects of life that I miss. These are my regrets of status and benefits that I could have achieved or accomplishments I would have reached.

After my son's death, my health deteriorated as though my body and soul were holding together to give him all his needs to help him survive the time on earth until God finally called Brian home to be with God. When he was gone, the hope left my physical being and I fell into despair for awhile. I know God gave me enormous strength to care for Brian and the same strength of love for our grandson who had many trials in school. I know a mother's love sees and senses beyond the surface and realizes potentials and needs that no other person can. Brian was a wonderful son with a great sense of humor, he was considerate and loved God and he played a mean game of tennis. I guess God had a tennis partner waiting for Brian. And even though it's been almost ten years in April, you never ever get over the loss of a child especially when you invest the time and hope to keep him alive - yes, giving up everything for him.

It is a Mother's ambition to give all to her children, every ounce of her soul, love and physical existence. I suppose this was my job in life and I should accept it and be satisfied. It was a gift to care for Brian and I am thankful I had that time with him. Our grandson has turned out to be a very fine human being and it my shinning light. He makes me smile and he is very considerate although forgetful.

I have realized we are given talents for many tasks in life. Is it a gold plaque or a check of a zillion dollars that give us our worth? If we have to chose between caring for a loved one to make his life better or committing to a job that may or may not make us happy in the end, which will be the most fulfilling in the end. To watch a child suffer when I could help over making an extra dollar would not be me. So, I have to admit that I have made the right choices.

These days I am rather morbid because I need total knee replacement and I've become lazy and lax but happy because my husband is right beside me and we are having a good time. We aren't accomplishing too many important things in our life right now. We do have dreams but there are other people in our life that have tapped into our space and require our time. It seems like we are back to ground zero just when we thought we would have time to be alone - can you imagine being married 46 years and never ever having a home to yourself, always someone in the house - it's hell on your sex life!!! Yes, people our age, especially since we love each other think about sex every once in awhile - but the walls are paper thin and we have a nine year old granddaughter living with us. Darn it!! Our son lives with us too and he is out of work and home all the time. Then there's the truck driving son who might drop in at any time. Oh, our grandson will be getting out of the Army and will be coming home with his girlfriend - did I mention we have a big home. We have to go to a motel for privacy. What a hoot!!!

By the way, it isn't my intentions to dwell on what could have been and not be thankful for what I have. God has given me the most wonderful husband. He takes care of me like I was a princess. He is sweet, kind, and a gentleman. Did I tell you he has the best sense of humor of anyone I know or have known - when we laugh, it ain't just a tis-tis tickle, but a huge belly laugh that's unforgettable. He is my miracle and the reason I am on this earth. He is my reason for being - he and my children, grandchildren and those to follow. I've always known there's nothing more important than family. I am grateful even through all the challenges, defeats, and successes. Whatever gifts God has given me He presented me with tasks He knew were custom made for me and no one else. I believe we all have a task to accomplish before we are called to our Heavenly Home.

Sometimes it takes a letter from a stranger to bring out the reality of life and light the candle of awareness to God's graces.

It's raining, it's pouring, I'm so glad!

We haven't had this much rain in the southwest desert of Nevada in years - we are desperately dry and need the rain badly.

Bob and I are Midwesterners when rain comes at the most inopportune times and most of the times unwelcome. Until you live in a area where the possibility of having no water in your future, rain takes on a different concept. I am puzzled when I hear the weatherman say "don't worry, the rain will stop by tomorrow" when they know full well we need it to rain for days.

We have a back porch/patio that is screened in. We don't have mosquitoes or pesty bugs like Midwest cities, but we do have flies, and that's about all. We live in a rural area where most of our neighbors have horses and they attract the flies if the owners don't the corrals cleaned up. So, that's basically why Bob screened in the porch to protect son Brian from critters. Brian was in a wheelchair. His room exits onto the back porch area - it was pleasant to leave the doors opened for Brian to get fresh air. Brian was 100% disabled. He passed away almost 10 years ago.

As I was mentioning the rain a few sentences ago, I thought about the other night when I went outside to listen to the rain falling. When you are fortunate to live in an area where rain is normal, I believe you take it for granted. We appreciate the sound, smell, and aura that comes with this gift from heaven. It is a blessing to sit out on the back porch, protected from the raindrops yet involved with the wetness since you can't escape the dampness that permeates the surrounding area. Humidity is something we forget about living in the desert but it comes naturally with the rain. And, with the humidity on a cool night, the temperature is even cooler or colder than it would be if it was a dry weather night. Our arthritis is bothering us, so we contribute that to the rain, but we wouldn't complain because we miss this blessing too much.

Yes, it is a blessing to us. We need so many days of rain to fill our needs and make everything right, so we thank God for what He gives us and let Him know we appreciate all the blessings He bestows on us everyday.

What's my name!

I've neglected blogging for so long that I've forgotten my names and passwords - duh! I've been addicted to Facebook with it's Farmtown, Farmville, and my Happy Aquarium. Really intellectual!

Did you have a nice Christmas season? The Sullivan's - be that as they are - were all together and we had a blast. Unfortunately, we are small in numbers but big on laughs and fun. Bob and I grocery shopped several times just to make sure we would have plenty of food in the house for everyone. Now I am so strapped for cash, I can't go to a grocery store for a couple of weeks. No, just kidding.

We cut back on gifts this year due to the requirement we put upon ourselves of getting the house ready to sell. We had expenses like painting the interior, putting in new landscaping, new garage doors, and next will be a new rug in the computer/grandkids room. I don't have a problem cutting back on my expenditures because I feel very fortunate for what we have to start out with and I always make sure I can pay my bills first before buying anything.

The year ended in our household with major health problems - I hope not a fore-boding for us Senior Citizens. Just when we were hoping to be free travelers, escaping down the highway of life with what's left of our hair blowing in the wind - a ha, just kidding. Husband Bob found out he has cancer on his forehead. He's had our physician look at it and treat it for some time, but we finally decided to go to a dermatologist. It's like "I should have had a V-8!" Why didn't we go sooner. They wanted to cut it out, but told Bob he could have radiation instead of a hole with possibly probably skin graft - so he's been taking radiation treatments for a couple of weeks now. It will last another several weeks. That place on his forehead is red - worrisome to me. When my Aunt had radiation, they stopped the treatments when it got red - but this doctor just gave Bob ointment which he says help. Who do you trust????

Bob is a very handsome man, but he's not vain - and he says he's not concerned about any scaring - just didn't want a hole. The cancer is not the real serious type, but is there any cancer that's not a real serious type.

I've talked about our knee problems before and they haven't gotten any better in fact, I'm worse. But, we've agreed for Bob to go first - he also needs both knees replaced and we're waiting on some approval or disapproval paperwork from the government. Our insurance will cover but we are covering our butts with extra paperwork so that it doesn't come back to bite us. Bob is a workaholic even though he's slowed down in his old age, but he needs to be busy, I don't care now, but I am still called upon to do chores.

Selling the house is on hold, I think, until after the surgeries for both of us. Soldier Tom gets out of the Army in June and he and his gal and granddog Peanut will be coming back here to live and go to college - so for a short time we will have more boarders. We don't know whether to buy a bigger house or move into a Senior Citizen's development where no one under 55 can live!! That would be running away from the needy!!!! Our son and granddaughter are with us still.

I don't know what I would do if anything happened to my husband. We are hooked at the hip! We aggravate each other in depth, but we have so much fun. He is the best kisser in the whole wide world - and I've kissed a lot of guys in my younger years - never went any further passed the kissing - was a different time when I grew up but I didn't have to, because I knew when I met Bob, he was the one and the only.

In this New Year, politics are a changing! The War is changing. Weather is a changing - glad I live here in the west except for the serious water shortage. We lived through the bitter cold on the farm in Kentucky - ice storms and all. We all pay our toil though.

Well, just dropped in to say "howdy" and hope you had a good Christmas. Hope the New Year will be good for you in all ways - good health, success, hope you are fine economically, and spiritually. May God bless you and keep you safe always.

Now what?

Today we took Tom, Tine, and our grand dog Peanut, to the airport. They left only two hours ago, but already it seems so boring and too quiet. Bob is on his computer dedicated to his dutiful assignment on Facebook - farming on Farmtown and Farmville, cleaning fishtanks on several aquariums and other topics of his interest. Yes, I do have my Farm and fishtank, but I try to allow a certain time frame for that stuff. I don't want it to be the be-end all of everything I do. As you can tell because is has been a long time since I've blogged, I've been attracted to other things, like it or not!

I started getting things ready for Christmas before Thanksgiving because I just don't work fast at my age and my knees are giving me a lot of pain. We did have a wonderful holiday season with all that kids and grandkids available being here. Tom and Tine are so much fun to have around and we loved having their dog with us. She is well behaved and has the same temperament as Tine. It was a nice celebration.

I am now starting to take down the inside decorations. I've also started throwing all the fattening snack foods we had in for the family - and Bob and I which we enjoyed beyond exclamation! It's back on our protein diet, and I must admit we did gain back what we lost. I have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks, and I'll be a huge chicken and postpone for a couple extra weeks just to get these pounds off before getting on the scale in his office. I hate that part of the visit!!!!

As I contemplated which decorations I would pack up first this morning, it occurred to me, what next? It's always a big deal planning for Christmas - the food, decorations, who will be here and what gifts to buy, not to mention the house cleaning all all the rest of the next stuff. I do enjoy it so much. Once the lights come down it seems so dreary although its not as dreary here in the desert southwest as it is in the mid west and east where it is so desperately cold and barren. We still have leaves on our trees and roses on the bushes. I remember the below zero temperatures very well, something one doesn't forget especially if you have the responsibility of making sure the farm animals have water in the freezing weather. This means chopping holes either in the pond or in the water tank unless you have a water tank heater that works well.

Making a New Years Resolution would go hand in hand with what's next in my life. I purchased Windows 7 to install on my main computer. I have had to use every ounce of patience I have to deal with the problems I've endured with Vista. Now I have to plan when I will do the installation so I have time and will not be interrupted because I am anticipating it will take thinking and concentration to do. I'll back up stuff first just to protect what I have. Gosh, I hope it this program works better than Vista.

I have a china cabinet that has dust growing on dust - its shameful that I haven't had the ambition to clean it. It is on the top of my list of resolutions of to-dos and I can pack up some things that aren't appropriate there, or things I want to give away. I know Tom & Tine will want some things for their place when they move back here.

Tom has decided not to re-enlist in the Army. He and Tine will come back here and go to college. She will continue on with her nursing program and he will get back into the EMT program he started before joining the Army.

It will be difficult to plan financially for the future in view of the passing of the health care bill in Washington and the other bills as well. I am concerned with what amount if any they will take from my social security check. I made the choice to be a stay at home mom most of my married life even though I have had excellent jobs first off before I met my husband, then, before Brian's accident when I was working and going to college. I was left with no pension and just a pittance of social security to show. Ah, yes, I have my husbands to fall back on, but well, it would have been nice. I hope we are coming out of the recession and the cost of real estate will level, as we are thinking of putting the house up for sale. Although, at this point we will still be looking for a large place not a small one as I had hoped. It must be our destiny! I believe there is a path set up for us the minute we are born and how we follow the path determines our frame of mind and lifestyle and probably happiness. It is better not to be angry or upset when things are going right, sometimes there's not much you can do about it.

So, that's where it is today. I must get back to blogging and catching up with the other bloggers. It is fun and interesting, and I have missed being apart of this world.

God bless you all and take good care. Sending you best wishes for a very Happy New Year.

Holy Mollie! I can't believe it!

I have been so delinquent in my blogging tasks! I am now active daily on Facebook and totally connected to FarmTown and so is my husband - he keeps me busy harvesting his crops. I prefer to mess around decorating my farm. They made the Christmas stuff available to "buy" with the "coins" or give as "gifts" so I have gone kookoo decorating. Silliest thing I've ever done, I think, maybe.

So here it is the 6th of December. I am in the holiday mood. Soldier Tom and his gal Tine (Tina - but spelled Tine as in Christine) will be coming home for Christmas and they are bringing their dog Peanut and I am so excited!!!! I miss Tom so much. He is so much fun to have around - never a dull moment when he's home. His gal Tine is a lot of fun too. She is an absolutely wonderful cook and likes to do stuff for our family - isn't that terrific!!!! When they asked if they could bring Peanut home with them, I said yes instantly - although I did pause and ask Bob, but it didn't matter because I wanted to see Peanut. I miss having a pet. We have had a dog or cat or lots of dogs and cats and farm animals my whole married life - the first time was when Bob brought home a little black kitten right after we were married. So, after my dog - Angel, a yellow lab, died about two years ago, Bob said no more pets until after we move from this house. It is a good idea, but I can't help but miss having a pet. So, I am so excited. In fact, there is one gift under the tree right now and it is for Peanut!!!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving - I hope you did too. The kids were here and I worked my butt off and after we ate I collapsed. I've mentioned I think in previous blogs that I need total knee replacement on both knees but have decided to postpone the surgery until after the first of the year. I figure if I have strenuous work to do, if I relax and take my pain pills before that time, then work my butt off when necessary, then relax after then I can endure the pain and that is how I am getting through the holiday preparations. There's just so much work to do and so little time - I hate this being "sort of disabled" I really do - so you have to make hay when the sunshines, put a smile on your face and go for it - - whatever works. I love the Christmas holidays so much - it is exciting, energetic, and happy. I get angry when my family are all grumpy and tell them "bah humbug! and really get on their case. So far that is working - but I have to pick and chose my moments to accuse them of being downers! or I would be in big trouble and that would defeat my purpose.

As I mentioned, I have been playing around with Facebook. I have connected up with many of the kids I went to Catholic grade school and two years of Catholic high school with - most I grew up with until I moved away with my parents from Ohio to Las Vegas when I went into the 11th grade here. It was a very difficult change for me. I loved the high school I was going to and was getting good grades. The teachers at the Catholic high school in Vegas were good, but the attitude out here was different than the midwest. Totally different environment, I didn't do as well in my studies as I had been - regretfully, my fault, totally, but being a teenager what are you going to do. I had great parents, it wasn't their fault, I just made some bad decisions. I went right to a full time job after graduation and did excellent at that job, then met Bob and that's a whole other story which I've told a time or too in my blog. But, here we are back to meeting up with old friends. It is very interesting hearing about their life after not seeing or hearing from some of then for over 40 years. I look forward to getting back to Ohio again and getting together with them, although there are some who live in other places too - so who knows!!!

We are going shopping later - we went to WalMart last night - something we never ever do - it was a miracle to get us out of the house after dark... Like we must have gone mental or something. We are so reclusive now and I really hate it!!! I know hate is a strong word, but howdy do - that's how I feel. I would love to entertain, but there are situations in our family right now, and well, nevermind!!! I will entertain one of these days - just have to wait until Tom and Tine come home - his friends always pop in - and I love everyone of them. Should be a fun time!!!

So, that's it for now. I hope you and your family are well and are getting into the Christmas spirit. We can't forget the reason for this spirit and give thanks to Our Father for all the blessings He has given us even in this distressful time for our economy. It has hit our family too, but we have to give thanks for what we do have. We say thank you Lord for our loving family and our warm home!

Take good care. May God bless you with abundant grace to find your way through your problems, and give you blessings to make you smile!