Library

Waiting for a few minutes to get ready to go visit our new library in our neighborhood. I am really excited. The new one has better parking and easier access on the outside - even has a drive-through window. I can't imagine!

I have fond memories of walking or riding my bike to my neighborhood library where I grew up. It was a good thing. It wasn't very large and the people were very friendly and helpful. It was a great thing to have growing up. I enjoyed reading the "Hardy Boys" and books like that. My mom was a reader too so I guess she made that impression.

We are taking granddaughter Alex with us. I think it is a good thing to have as a routine visit. She loves to read and is in the reading club at her school. This is something to share with her. She lives with us and I have to admit unfortunately, it is a different life experience when you either raise your grandchild as we did with Tom or they live with you with one of their parent as in the case of son Kevin. They are with you everyday and there are no surprises - and as you get old, surprises are wonderful. We have several other grandchildren around the United States and the anticipations of the time when we might see them is a thrilling emotion.

I buy books routinely but need to get in the habit of borrowing and returning to the library because my budget these days is struggling and straining at the seams. There is a new book out by John Grisham I am going to look for today. He is a good read and I can get through it in a couple of days especially since tomorrow is Sunday and no plans except to visit Brian up at the cemetery. Reading on Sunday is both relaxing and refreshing to the mind - of course, it would depend on what kind of book you're reading.

A lot has happened in this home since I last wrote. We had two months of the house burgeoning at the seams. People in and out - my grocery bill has been out of sight hence the budget reflex!!! Today it is quiet, except for Alex's singing to the music on the radio. I don't mind. Tom use to whistle all the time and Alex sings. Music for the soul.

Hope you are well and life is good in your life and home. May God bless and keep you safe.

I Am America

Unexpectedly quiet

For all the ranting and raving I've committed myself to in other posts about peace and quiet, I am admitting here and now experiencing this quiet is a very weird to silence this morning. For the past six weeks the activity in our home has been like a carnival atmosphere.

This morning our oldest son left out on his motorcycle for a new job. He has been home for all of that six weeks, maybe more. He had come home to leave from here to go to his daughter's graduation in another state, but when he returned, he was notified he no longer had a job. He was very fortunate he was able to secure another job offer and he left early this morning to begin another new adventure.

Each one of us has a different aura that we can connect with whether it's a quiet serene or noisy "hey you, I've arrive, and I'll be here awhile" type. This son was that type - the noisy one. He enjoys conversing, teasing and is a worry wart like his mom's family. So, we know when he is around. He is very independent and won't expect us to worry - he doesn't want that burden. He knows we have enough troubles on our mind at our age.

The two other auras who have been present are traveling. They are medium noise and don't require a lot of attention because they haven't lived at home in years. They disappear quietly and return the same - we have to inquire whether they are here or gone because they are not in the habit of answering to anyone. They are pleasant auras and nice to have around so now they are gone I miss them, but they have left something behind for us to watch - their dog. She can be very high maintenance, but is a wonderful pet. She is starting to show signs that she really misses them. The other day Bob had to do something in Tom's car and he got his keys to go outside. there must be something about the "sound" of the clinking of the keys that woke Peanut up, she reacted with an awareness that she does when they come in the door. Tom and Tine are very active and are active with Peanut ---we are more sublime although the others have tried to keep Peanut busy like taking her for walks and playing with her. But, I think dogs know the difference. She does sleep on their bed for familiarity. I know she will be so happy when they come home.

I love having the TV off. We do have our favorite shows but they aren't on all the time all day. I love quiet and solitude too. I treasure the moments when I have this luxury. There are three other auras in our home I haven't mentioned, I think I'll save for another post.

It is a good day. The past six weeks have been wonderful having the family around, in and out, friends filling the house, food overflowing on the tables and counter tops, laughing, yelling, sports, games, all the things of excitement in the moments-----and it all wears me out in a very positive way. I have slept very soundly.

God bless and take good care. I am so thankful for all my blessing.

The Harmonica Man

The Harmonica Man

An amazing and enjoyable story.

Walking in My shoes

Have you ever had a situation where you were involved as a by stander in a conversation and you opened your mouth and inserted your big foot by commenting on something that didn't concern you? I have a huge habit of doing that. I also learn my lessons the hard way, and some day and sometimes I don't learn anything at all. And, you know once you've said it, even after realizing you should have not said anything it's too late to apologize because you could never right it, regardless. I think to myself "when will I learn!" But I still apologize because I know I was wrong and I am truly sorry for the intrusion. There is an uncomfortable feeling for a while, but nothing more is said, and its is okay. I won't do that again.

But, then, another situation not quite the exact same, very different situation. Earlier I was expressing to a friend of my limitations and my dependence on my husband for assistance in some situation, sometimes more than I prefer. I got the same type of "foot in mouth" from the friend as I dished out, but, she doesn't know it. I had sense enough to realize what I said to another person was wrong, it was my gut that told me - but the issue with my friend now has taken a different turn. There's no body language to read, or voice to hear maybe agitation, it was the written word that affect me. I was going to write and express and try to explain that her judgement was wrong, but I knew unless you get it, you wouldn't understand - and if she had gotten it, she wouldn't have voiced her opinion in the manner she did. Repeating would be repetitious which can lose a lot in the translation. No point!

All this brings me to a thought I had earlier today, a very important aspiration of walking in someone shoes. When we look at our friends, listen to their problems, sorrows, happiness or just a conversation, are we judging as they speak? Do we listen with our hearts or our brains and thinking how we would handle that or pass judgement, or maybe not listen at all.

Through Facebook, I have "found" many friends I went to grade school with and many I knew in other times of my life. I envy some because on the surface it looks like they have a wonderful life, but there are others who have had struggles and are honest about those struggles but really made the best of it and deal with the problems life throws at them. There are still others who do struggle every day and manage, but there are some who from my eyes look as though they've had a great life with some problems, but they look so contented and what they write about is so wonderful and their philosophies are so positive almost to the point of being pushy and sickening. Which makes me wonder if they are thinking of only themselves as being holier than everyone around them.

Ideally, if I could I would like to change my method of reacting right now. I would like to be more conscientious of each person's individuality and set of problems so I could be sensitive and not say stupid things or give advice when I shouldn't - or maybe just listen instead of saying anything. To me, that is an ideal friend that everyone should have - no criticisms, no judgement, only pure honest interest and compassion. It is a lot to ask after all, we just want to help even if our opinion isn't required or requested. We all need just one of those special friends, we're very fortunate if we ready have one.

No one could imagine the depth of my pain from my experiences, but a good friend wouldn't expect another friend to experience anything so horrific. I wouldn't want anyone to experience my pain. I wouldn't want anyone to walk in my shoes. However, I would like an extension of a sensitivity and compassion, but it isn't that simple - no one reacts the way we expect or we think they should because they are not us. They couldn't even begin to walk in your shoes or my shoes because we each have our own pair of shoes that fit only our life.

We are given a special life path to follow, if we have friends who walk beside you down the path, to be there when you fall, or pray for you when you are hurting, cry when you cry, then you've got a beautiful matching pair - but there are those who cannot see or feel because their life will never parallel yours so they will never know your pain, but yet they will express opinions that may not be helpful, in fact painful because they don't understand. How do you respond, with unkind words, with attempted explanations, going back over the expressions of your situation - actually none of the above - if the person understood, nothing would have been said, so any more words might make it worse.

In both my situations - one was created by me toward a friend. The other was applied to me from a friend. In the first situation I didn't walk in my friend's shoes but I should have, I could have, when I realized on my own, I did apologize. In the second situation my friend didn't walk in my shoes but she couldn't have because her path has taken her down a different avenue that didn't run parallel with my path. I learned a lesson this week. I am very thankful and I hope that I can do better for my friends regardless of whose path I am walking beside.

I Fought For You By The Sound Tank

Is there a time for quiet?

Our home has been jumping like a Jazz Concert in the Park since Tom has come home from the Army. As I've probably mentioned he brought his gal Tine home with him and their dog - Peanut. To be honest, Peanut does not look like a Peanut, more like a Sara or Patty or Monique, but Tine loves the Peanut with Jeff Dunham.

Peanut is a lovable dog but her attention doesn't come cheap - there are bribed involved to get close to her. I have followed all the necessary routes to win her over and now we are best pals. She's a sweet dog like no other I've had around. She is a mommy's girl - and that is a new one for me. I have missed having pets ever since my dog Angel, yellow lab, died a couple years ago. Bob said no more. We've always had pets since I met Bob and he brought home a black kitten he found in the parking lot where he worked. It's nice to have Peanut around, she is sweet.

I am at the place in the road where the pavement moves in several different directions and I have to make a choice of which way to go. It is absolutely necessary I chose the right one because my life is moving way too fast for mistakes.

Tom and Tine are starting their life together. They have their apartment, set up to go to college and buying furniture. Their energy and strengths reminds me so much of myself - I could do anything and I had so much physical strength too. I felt a tinge of guilt the other day as I watch Tine help Tom move a huge box downstairs remembering how easy and common it was for me to help Bob do the very same thing years ago. Today I struggle to get down the stairs and heaven forbid, I couldn't carry a thing. It is a sad remembrance although I shouldn't face it like that.

We have a big home and the kids - all of them and their friends, the grandchildren and whoever come in and make themselves comfortable. It's wonderful to have that environment, but I do yearn for privacy and my own space. The decision I must make is about a house and the size of the house to be the new home for my husband and I. We do have a son and granddaughter living with us, but there are several problems with that arrangement that is causing problems and unless our son can change those problems I don't want him to live with us. I worry about our granddaughter, but there are extreme options - something he wouldn't like, but just how long is a parent suppose to support their adult children and grandchildren?

This is the problem. I really yearn to be alone with my husband. We have so much fun together and I don't like having to sneak around to be passionate - it seems as though we've always had someone living with us or we lived with someone for a short time - I want my own place.

I have prayed but haven't received an answer. I know God has a lot on his plate today with all the stuff going on in the world so maybe I'm expecting too much. But it says, asks and you shall receive. I'm waiting. I hope someday I can write the news that we have been given our freedom to live our lives alone. My husband will be 69 and I will be 66, I think it's time for that second Honeymoon, don't you?