Knock, knock, knock!!! Ding dong!

It is quiet here at this moment. Husband took son somewhere. I have tons of stuff to do, but rarely do I have quiet moments without interruptions, so I thought I'd use my precious time here with you. I have been on Facebook and Twitter a lot - Facebook is a quick means of visiting with a lot of friends plus my husband and I play Farmtown and Farmville - I am getting a little tired of it so not applying myself as I should, but I do it everyday because he enjoys it. It's entertaining and creative. The part of Facebook I appreciate is the fact of so many friends and family members that I have found - people I haven't seen since I went to grade school in Ohio. It's a wonderful opportunity. The Twitter is mostly for political postings for me. Quick one liners w/links sometimes. I find it inspiring and keeps me in the loop. The news networks all seem to have the same reports hour after hour. People reports a multitude of different happenings and you have the opportunity to follow through if you decide to.

In a couple of weeks, our home will take on a whole new dynamic. Tom will be discharged from the Army. It is so bittersweet decision for me. I liked him serving, but it was his decision to get out, although, he does have the right to change his mind later and still hold the same rank. I have missed him so much. As a young man he was so much fun to be around. He always had a smile and something funny to say. He was an up-lifting soul - he never grumbled or complained about anything. It was a positive force in our home. He will be coming home with his girlfriend and their dog. We love his girlfriend, she is very nice, and treats him good too. We also love their dog - it is so nice to have a pet around. Their dog's name is Peanut and she if so much tied to Tine, I have never seen a dog so attached to it's owner as Peanut is. Our dogs always belonged to everyone - even my dog Angel. They will be here only as long as it takes them to find an apartment. They both will be going to college and working too.

I have had to deal with an infected leg the past couple of weeks so I have taken in pretty easy - it's nice to be lazy for a good reason. I am lazy some days just because I want to, but Bob says since we are retired we can do what we want. I don't buy that completely because I feel as though I need to accomplish something each day - even though housework is a daily thing. I have several chores which I have to accomplish this week, they must be done, so this writing break I've taken is a golden moment which I will make up for later doing what needs to be done. No one is suffering for what I haven't done, so it's ok.

I received a note from a friend - actually she was married to my son Brian's friend. They knew each other in Germany. When Brian got sick, there were several of his friends who corresponded with me. This person has stayed with it since Brian died ten years now - unbelievable that time has passed so quickly - but it wasn't like that at first. Anywho, this person is having some awful problems. She is poor and has bad health. She is a young woman in her 30s I would assume, has diabetes, maybe breast cancer, no insurance. You know, just when you think you are in the depths of hell with your problems, you realize there are others who have it much worse. If I could help her I would, I am strapped for cash and what I had wouldn't even touch what this girl needs. All I have to offer is my friendship. I know when I am down and out and I hear from a friend with kind words of encouragement, it can make all the difference in the world to my day. Sometimes the people around us can get on our nerves and they might be a part of the problem too and a friend comes around out of the blue with just a couple extra special thought, man oh man, what a kindness that is. Please pray for her if you remember. Her name is Joan.

Having this infection in my leg has required doing special wound treatment. It reminds me so much of taking care of Brian. He had a huge bedsore that was all the way to his bone - it was horrible. We did a lot of complaining when we went to the VA hospital in LA - it was their fault it started, they were neglectful. After we brought him home and I tended him, it took me a long time, but it healed up. I know today they have more advance medical processes for healing sores - Doc wanted me to go to the Wound Center, but I knew I could handle it - so far so good, but after my appointment in another week, if it hasn't healed as he wanted it to, then I will go, but so far it looks good. I have a blood problem and have to be careful. It was a stupid accident with a cardboard box.

Getting older has brought out very negative results from my body - like being unsteady on my feet, you know, feeling clumsy. I still have bad knees - need knee replacement which I hope to do this year but doc said I MUST lose weight - boring!!! How stupid can one person be - I know it is the solution to all my problems, why am I holding back!!! I may not be perfect if I lose weight but with the knees replaced and less weight, it should allow me to be more mobile. Bob bought me a 3 wheel bike but I can't get my leg up because of the knee. So, I have made the commitment this week. I don't want it to be a commitment like all the others but I must get this weight off - it's to the benefit of my mind and my body and my future. Why would I give up in my life when I have come so far and I have dreams I want to fulfill - yet to come! I can't give up now......I preach a good sermon to others but I don't take my own advice. You know how much I love my husband, and I just can't see not fulfilling our dreams, I don't want to give up, there's too much ahead. Sometimes I blame my situation here today - the kids living with us, I want to say their stupidity in their decisions but I won't - it gets so old having them around. They are depressing. But crap-o-la, I am tired of hearing myself complain about them Only I can get out and do something about my life - so what if they choose the gutter, I've done all I can - they can't blame me for their problems, they really can't I've been a good mom, too good for them. They don't seem to get it that I need my life now, they don't seem to give a care if I feel bad, so why should I care about their bad times that they have brought on to themselves. Whoa, I didn't mean to get so into it so deeply - it all came out from down in my gut. That's why I'm here, this is my "psychiatrist" couch.

Well, they are back so I've got to go. We are going to go to the Veteran's Cemetery to put flowers on Brian's grave in a little while so I have to get dressed. We haven't visited Brian in a couple of weeks. I didn't go see my mom on her birthday or Mother's Day either - that's for another day. She and Daddy are buried at a cemetery in the middle of downtown Las Vegas, not so good part of town, so we don't go often. The cemetery there is well kept though, she has a beautiful spot. I sure do miss my son and mom and dad, but such is life.

I hope you are having a wonderful day. Do take good care of yourself and each other. God bless.