Anxiety Attacks

Do you self-diagnosis when things don't feel right or seem right with you?  Or, do you run to your physician at the first sign of a problem?  Do you have confidence in your doctor to get the right diagnosis?

At my age, how I am feeling has become first and foremost and I've become almost paranoid about how I feel.  When I was young, any pain I had I just brushed it off and keep moving on to finish what job I was doing.  My mother-in-law called me the Duracell Bunny cause I do work so fast and do so much.

It is very disconcerting as each year passes and I move slower and seem to feel worse than the last.  I'm a borderline positive thinker.  I say borderline because if I was a total positive thinker I wouldn't be writing this morning.  I know my environment has a lot to do with my attitude and we all know sometimes you can't do everything to change what's going on in your home to change things.  I've gotten sermons from friends to do thing and that to change things, but have you looked at the economy lately, that does have a little to do with many big things. 

Last year I had a very strange outburst - an outburst that was definitely not me.  I don't know where my reaction "came from" I don't know what caused it.  The doctor sort of blamed low blood sugar, maybe, but I'm not sure.  Recently, I had another outburst her in my home with strangers from another friends family sitting around our kitchen table.  I just lost it and verbally and loudly rebounded to a comment from a young woman dating my grandson.  I don't understand my reaction.  I wasn't sorry either and I'm still not, but I'm confused. 

I have also been crying a lot.  I am very sensitive, but it's not only seeing the soldiers returning from Afghanistan or babies hurt or those types of things which stimulate most feeling people, I cry about more simple things and at weird times.  I just burst out crying, hard and with robust tears. 

I can recover and then joke with my husband.  It's not a depressive mood I carry all day long.  My husband and I joke all the time and I am so glad - it breaks the spell and I want it too.

I am wondering if the Anxiety is due to the pain I am enduring.  I am hoping it is that simple.  My health is near good - I am overweight and we are attempting to lose weight.  We've been on this diet monitoring our intake of food and it's been successful so far.  Both my husband and I are doing this together.  I could blame the change of eating habits, but this anxiety has been going on for a year now. 

I wonder if it's related to age.  I am a senior citizen.  Could it be the economy?  Could it be the fact our youngest son who is 40 years old lives with us with his daughter and has for 5 years now.  It isn't a wonderful situation.  We had four children, raised a grandson, have a mentally disturbed daughter who is stable enough to live on her own, but have this son living with us.  My husband and I have a fantastic relationship.  He is my greatest blessing in my life. 

I know we all have difficulties on this earth.  We are not put here with a guarantee of happiness everyday.  We are not promised total great health.  Some struggle with worse health problems than I, and I know that.  But my life as it is now, is being less and less fulfilling. 

I get so stressed out even going to dinner at a hotel as we did last week.  I can't stand any abnormal behavior by the people around me, those with me in a group - my family or my friends.  Things I can't control, I just come unglued and lose it.  This happened when we took visiting people out to dinner at a big hotel buffet.  They are from Germany and their young daughter kept getting by the slot machines even after they were told many times to keep her away.  A Big Security guard came to me and told me to get her away - - I am old, it was not my daughter.  I was struggling to breath, and he approached me.  There were others who spoke English, I am not sure why he came to me and it was upsetting.  And, I was upset at them.  I didn't handle it well.  Unfortunately, I don't care at this point how I handled it and these are reactions I am not comfortable with.  Another time I would have known better, I would have been more understanding with more patience.

Health related problems, aging, and stress can, I believe, cause behavior problems which lead to reactions not necessarily normal.  I am hoping these are valid reasons for my situation these days. 

If you have had any difficulties or symptoms like these, please share. 

May God bless and keep you safe.