Father's Day

What makes a good father? Because we are each different, our answers would be just as different for what makes a good father. This morning on our Sunday Morning program the Father's Day interview was with the Gate's Family - yes, Bill Gates the Microsoft man, but it was about his father Bill Gates Sr., his two daughters and the one son. They were all perfect, perfect life, gorgeous home, and all is well. The image of the Gate's family doesn't fit my life at all, not in any sense.

My father is buried in the cemetery in our town. He was a hard working man, I remember that about him. He was not a huggy man, at least not with me. but he was with my children. He was a devoted father and was always there for me - always to the end. I don't remember him saying he loved me but I grew up knowing love was more than words. I learned through experience that saying "I love you" can come easy from some but being responsible for Love was a completely different exercise of life.

No matter the problem my dad was there for me and I tried to be there for him when he needed me but I feel as though I failed. I do know this, some men need to be the leaders always and don't want to be needy. They want to always be in control and my father was one of these. It was tough for him after my mom died. My husband, the two youngest of our four children and I picked up and moved from one state to where dad lived to help him because he had no one - no friends and no other family nearby. I was his daughter and he was the strong father figure and he had difficult adjusting his authority, adjusting his life, or accepting his failing health. I was his faithful daughter until his end. But his end wasn't as anyone would have wanted for their father or for themselves to experience. It was a painful and awful ordeal, one so much so I can't write about it.

I struggle this day remembering all the events in my life as a daughter and a human being attempting to understand why I was chosen to have to deal with them. And on this Father's Day as I read loving comments from sons and daughters to their fathers I remember my dad as he gave his all for his family and his total commitment and love to my mom. He did his best. His own life before my mother was very hard, so I understood many things about my dad and accepted much that was unspoken because of the times.

The lesson I learned from him was the depth of his love and commitment for my mom and me, and my brother too. It was a very important lesson. I wish we could have been better friends but it is what it is......that's what I always say.