Tom and Yahoo Messenger

I finally caught Tom on the yahoo IMing thingie last night when I was on the computer. He had bought Suzanne an iPod nano and because her computer is an older model the Apple software for the iPod is obsolete so I have been loading the nano on my computers with photos and her music - - and that's what I was doing when I caught him on the IMing thingie.

We typed back and forth for about an hour mostly about taxes - he was filing out his income taxes online. I was thinking this morning how much I miss him and can't wait to see him. He said they were packing stuff to be sent to headquarters somewhere - they will leave Camp Taji, Iraq, in April. The time is passing quickly.

Tom is the type of presence in your life that you really miss when he's not around - some people come and go and they don't make a difference, but he does. He comes home quietly because he respects us as old people, but I know with his friends, he is loud and funny. He is and always will be the class clown. He has finally found the weaker side of "his grandpa" and can make him laugh - I don't think Tom realizes that yet. He is a pleasant person and I can't wait to see him again in May - not soon enough!

Today is the Day the Lord has made!

Today is our day of rest and to give special homage to God our Father! Not only has Sunday been a special day for me because of the Day of Prayer, but because my workaholic husband actually takes the day off and relaxes. As he has gotten older he does relax more often during the week days and is a firm believer in naps. He consistently quotes our physician saying "naps are good for us" I suppose as an excuse for his routine of several naps whenever the urge hits him. He deserves all the naps he wants - he was a very hard physical working male. It is a relief to have the day off officially now - not to have to compete with his aggressive motivation of completion of all sorts of jobs done throughout the day - I couldn't keep up with him - although birthing and raising four kids, then a grandson, then care for a disabled son, now helping with a granddaughter, I guess in retrospect maybe I didn't chop down a tree for firewood or build a fence or rebuild a hydraulic braking system, but I suppose my job was just as fulfilling - you think! But, here we are on the official day of rest and giving honor and thanksgiving to God - something we do every day anyhow, and we don't need to say only on Sunday because everyday is the Lord's day here. We may struggle with our disappointments and health problems and daily conflicts, but we thank God for our blessings and they are great.

I am watching the hummingbird feeder for the Precious hummer from yesterday - but she hasn't appeared. The feeder has been visited by several energetic male hummers but not Precious. I watched her until almost dark - I kept the shades open to watch as she held on tightly to the rail of the feeder and would drink of the sweet nectar to sustain her energy. We have three other feeders, but this one is the only one with rails and this one is where I would expect for her to come. I am too sensitive I suppose to be worrying about one creature. Never mind that - I will continue to watch through the day when I come back to this room, but I am doubtful she made it through the night because it was very cool and damp and she was weak.

Yesterday, granddaughter Alex and I made jewelry - a fulfillment of something I've wanted to do forever!!! I was in seventh heaven. She had made jewelry with her mom a while back when she was much younger so she couldn't remember a lot. She made a necklace and I lost count on how many times we dropped the string and the beads and cross fell on the floor and she had to lay out her pattern again. We worked well together and I felt like I accomplished a grand job working with her - I can't wait for our next project. I need to buy more "string" and more colorful beads. I know NOTHING about this so its all trial and error, but I feel privileged to have Alex to show me - she has great design ideas and this is marvelous for an eight year old. I am also anxious to teach her how to sew - I want to teach her to hand stitch although I am not that good, but that is what I did at her age making doll clothes for my dolls and those were very primitive looking. I think you can teach a child the basics and give them a taste of life and they will go from there. It's a good idea to try if not, you may never know the joy in a task.

Dreary Saturday

As I look out my office window I can see a hummingbird on the feeder but there's something wrong. The hummingbird has a broken beak. I brought Bob back to see - our poor resident hummingbird has damaged it's beak and is having problems feeding. It seems very lethargic. It's puffed up and quiet which is quite the opposite of the metabolic active makeup of a hummingbird. We speculate how it could have broken it's beak but knowing first hand the whizzing and zooming the hummers are so famous for it wouldn't be difficult for an accident to happen. Just yesterday a couple of doves flew into our sliding glass doors in the living room.

This photo was taken last summer and is a of the feeder outside my office window, and the hummer is a male hummer. This is NOT the sick hummer with a broken beak.

It is raining now but the feeder is under the eaves and is protected from the raindrops. This hummer looks like a baby but it's too soon for babies to be hatching. Bob says its a female. We do have several hummers that stay around our neighborhood through our mild winters. The hummer is sitting too quietly. As you can see, there is a rail around the feeder so the hummer's two tiny claws are holding on tightly. It's raining harder now but so far it's out of the reach of the rain drops.

We are expecting rain for several days and supposedly a lot of the wet stuff. Our Mt. Charleston snow lodge already got 10 inches of snow on top of what was there - good for the ski business. The lodge is about an hours drive from our house. We are way over on the other side of Las Vegas. We are grateful for the rain - we need it.

As I do experience the chills from the cold rain and humidity which is unusual here in our desert valley, I am reminiscent of a blog comment a couple days ago from the grandma in Pennsylvania and she wrote the temp at her place was 2 degrees!!! I will not complain.

The hummingbird has left the feeder. We'll be curious all day and checking for its survival - there's nothing we can do. Moments later - - - - it's back. It has flown away and come back to feed. I'll try to take a photo but I don't want to disturb her while she is feeding.

I took this photo from inside my office window a few minutes ago - the feeder is about 18 in. from my window, I did not use a flash, I was afraid I would scare the hummer. I used my telefoto lense the closest I could to the image - I know if I had a Canon I would have gotten a better photo, but this will do. As you can see, the hummer's beak is split. She is inserting the lower beak into the feeder hole and evidentally she is getting something because she continually feeds. She has flown away several times and come back. We'll continue to monitor her presence.

Gran Torino Trailer

Bob and I saw Gran Torino yesterday afternoon. Bob said it was one of his best Clint Eastwood movies. I absolutely loved it especially because his best sidekick was a yellow lab just like my Angel who passed away last year, or was it two years now.

I loved Clint facial "snarles" as you will see if you click on the YouTube video I've included below. Word of warning if you go to see the movie - keep the Puff tissues handy. There's also some really great humor!

This is an awesome movie and if Bob would take me again, I'd go, and I will be purchasing this when its out on DVD. Great acting by all - and terrific plot!

Go Eastwood!!!!

Mom

The past couple of months, I have corresponded with three very special women who each have had to care for their moms - each mother in a different stage of life. These ladies live in different parts of the country, nonetheless, their concerns and needs are similar. Two moms have been very ill and both daughters have struggled getting them the care their mothers need. They all three worry about fulfilling their mom's needs, of being there by their mom's side and one has been separated by bad weather recently. One friend is struggling and concerned with her own health and elevated blood pressure, while the other's time is also shared watching grandchildren during the week. One friend worries because her mom isn't entirely happy with her environment. We all eventually have to face the fact our parents they are not who they were only years ago and we are faced with the reality of being the one in charge - the reality of reversed roles.

My mom died in 1986, I didn't have the responsibility to care for her although I was able to visit with her a couple of times before she died - we lived in Kentucky and she and dad lived in Vegas. It may sound awful to say, but I do envy those daughters who can care for their mothers in their old age. I do pray for each of those special friends who are caring for their moms because it is a special task which requires a lot of commitment and caring. My mom was wonderful, she was my very best friend forever. I trusted her indefinitely, she had the best sense of humor - was so much fun to be around. I learned so much from her, she was kind, and honest and genuine. She love my children and did not worry about housework when the kids were around - they got her full attention, and they did simple things together like walking across the field on the farm and sitting on a log and feed the neighbor's horse or just talk about the birds or some silly thing.

Mom use to say this poem, and I can hear her voice and see her face as I read it - - - -

A Poem to Me Mudder

When me prayers were poorly said, Who tucked me in me bed,

And spanked me till me butt was red? Me Mudder.

Who took me from me cozy cot, And put me on me ice cold pot, And made me pee-pee if me could not? Me Mudder.

And when the morning light would come, And in me crib me dribble some, Who wipe me tiny widdle bum? Me Mudder.

Who would me hair so gently part, And hug me gently to her heart, And sometimes squeeze me till me fart? Me Mudder.

Who looked at me with eyebrows knit, And nearly had a king sized fit, When in my Sunday clothes me shit? Me Mudder.

When at night the bed did sqeak, Me raised me head to have a peek, Who yelled at me to go to sleep? Me Fadder.

This photo was taken Christmas 1975 - my mom, Helen, my daughter Suzanne, and me.

The first crocus

Not much happening today, I think I have spring fever. I saw our first yellow crocus this morning as I was out front waving good-bye to Alexandra as her dad drove her off to school. Bob is out front fertilizing the yard. Our weather is typically pleasant this time of the year - not too cold and not hot at all, these are reasons I hesitate moving from here. The last time we visited Ohio, it was rainy and humid and I thought to myself as we were running hurriedly from the grocery to the car - "what am I doing here?" I was chilled to the bone. I lived in the midwest and east coast but once you settle in the west your blood thins and any bone chilling weather is the most miserable experience - and I am not sure that any pleasure or satisfaction of home sweet home would make me leave this weather permanently. We'll see........

Suzanne is scheduled to be released from the hospital but we don't know where they'll place her. It's a difficult situation and I feel helpless. This is one of those times a parent has no say so and really, you don't want to, it's better to let the professionals handle it for the sake of her benefits and they know more than I do and have the upper hand. She turned 40 on the 30th. We'll take her out to dinner if possible once she's settled in where ever. Most of the times when patients are in the group homes they can leave for a specific time.

Kevin's work hours have been cut completely - he works at one of the big hotels on the strip. The economy is hurting the tourist trade of Las Vegas. Even Steve Wynn is cutting back his employees work time.

I'm anxious to see what the big deal stimulus does for our country - there are more stupid money projects buried in the plan - like a neon sign for Vegas and a Frisbee course in Austin, Texas. Have people gone mad????

The Las Vegas area is suppose to be the number one spot for home foreclosures, and here we are thinking of selling. Duh! The house values have dropped over $100,000.00 in our neighborhood. Now is the time to buy! We don't have to sell, thank God, so we can wait this out, but I've promised Bob I'd test the waters for his sake. We need to down size for our health sake.

Hope you all are well and are keeping warm! I know what it's like to live through ice storms, piles of snow and below zero weather, so I do feel for you. I talked to my Uncle Dick in Ohio last night and he told me they had just gotten six inches of snow - I told him it was sunny and 65 degrees here - he told me to shut-up (all in the spirit of jest, of course)!

God bless and take good care.

1989

I've been in a shroud of big time stress for a few months, not the normal routine type everyday stress. As an optimistic person, it would seem that I should naturally believe the stress will go away at some point or I will handle it relatively easy. While I may "believe" optimistically - in reality I have constantly been deceived, and the stress has only gotten worse. Granted the economical environment hasn't helped but there's more to it. I do adhere to the belief we make our own day by how we handle the situations placed in front of us. But, as I am flying in space faster than a speeding bullet to the age of medicare, 65, I can't help but wonder that getting older presents a larger challenge to accept the stress of every day.

In the year of 1989, I was 45 - it was the year of Brian's accident and the death of my father. I was taking college classes at night and working full time, even had a membership at a health club. Prior to those times, I had been a full time mother, and even full time farm wife, working at part time jobs occasionally and taking some business classes at schools in our area - but it was my age of conviction and can do anything - and did. We had four children, and after two left, we even took in foster children.

The year of 1986 my mom died, we moved to Vegas to help my dad, he passed away in 89, and two months to the day dad died, we got the call from the Army in Germany that Brian had a serious accident. My life completely changed on that day. August of 1991 we brought Brian home from the VA hospital in LA - the treatment there was horrendous - he had serious brain damage and respiratory problems, I committed to care for him full time 24/7- he survived and looked wonderful, but never recovered from his brain injury or the respiratory problems. Within a few months after we brought Brian home, our daughter became mentally ill, and she brought her son, our grandson, Tom, and dropped him off on our doorstep - they had lived with us but I insisted she try to live on her own and raise Tom, I even paid for her apartment. Her mental illness was so severe, she couldn't care for Tom. It took us months to persuade her to commit herself to the mental hospital. Meanwhile, caring for Brian and raising Tom wasn't easy. It would take a whole blog to explain, someday I'll put it there.

We did raise Tom as one of our own. We saw him through all 12 years of school and some college, then he choose the Army, and this will always be his home. He has grown up to be a very fine person, with a great personality and sense of humor. It wasn't easy for him to be separated from his mother - he really loves her, nor was it easy for us caring for Brian and raising another child, plus dealing with our daughter's problems.

Today, our youngest son and granddaughter are living with us; and our oldest son, the truck driver who was living with us and recovering from unemployment and a motorcycle accident is now back to truck driving so he is on the road but stops by every couple of weeks.

We grandmothers are a generation different from our mothers. We would never have expected our mother's to do what our children expect of us - although my husband says - we could just say no. Our relationship with our grandchildren is no longer visit, spoil, then send them home. No, we usually have "borderline parental responsibility" for them now. It is difficult because when you look into their beautiful innocent faces, you know its not their fault their parents are having financial difficulties or other problems but nonetheless, it isn't any easier being a senior citizen and not having the patience or the endurance when we were 41.

There is no answer to this day and age, and as the economy gets worse, will our responsibility become more? Will our plans for a grandiose retirement as my parents had become more hostile and a fear of heading to the poor house instead? I have resentment and guilt daily for my feelings and fears. We want to run away with no forwarding address or telephone number. No more handing out spare keys and no more extra food in the refrigerator. It sounds so ridiculous that it's almost funny, especially when we make excuses to go out to eat just to be alone. There are times when we do take the kids out to eat on special occasions or prepare extra special meals at home, but its too expensive to eat out with a bunch these days. And, I don't know about you, but it has become very difficult on my body to prepare a grand meal for my bunch even with help from my husband.

So, I ask you grandmas - is this our legacy? We are the era of Aquarius and bra-less parades, and equality, is this what we earned? Hey, just to set the story straight I didn't go bra less in public ever, and I'm a true Leo, Equality - boy did I know better, I learned the truth about "equality" a long time ago!!!! So, hey, whats to become of our generation of grandmas? I surely don't want to lose sight of heading off to Maine and sitting on the beach for hours on end reading a good book. We did that a couple of years ago - just he and I - oh, Lordy, Lordy, the clam chowder was super duper and the lobster, ooooo lalala! Dreams and memories - right now, that's all there is!

Alexandra - Our Super Achiever!

Well, she did it AGAIN!!! Another assembly for family and friends to celebrate the achievements of the students of Alex school. They started doing the award assemblies and inviting the families only recently. They give awards often but in the past it was during class time. This is a great idea having a special time set aside to bring the students accomplishment as a celebration for all to attend. Alex father did not excel in school, but he is very motivated helping Alex. Her intelligence has been a Godsend for Kevin. Life is sure amazing, we never know what blessings will become part of our life - simple blessings that make a difference.

My house will be busy again for a couple of days - our truck driver son, Don, is on his way through town with a delivery. He'll be stopping by for food! We are very thankful for his miracle job! Do your kids go to the refrigerator first thing when they come to visit?

Daughter Suzanne is still in the hospital - no word on when she will be discharged and placed in another location. She has said they will put her in a group home. They do have all sorts of activities for the patients to participate in as well as exercise. She is socializing with the others and I am thankful - she can be stubbornly anti-social, although, she does have a sweet personality and a terrific laugh and sense of humor. Her illness poses many problems for her. Most of her medication helps her cope and we can tell when she hasn't been taking it appropriately - or if the physician has changed it. The smallest event can be extreme if her medications aren't balanced.

We haven't heard from Soldier Tom for a few days. They will be watching the Super Bowl on Sunday in Iraq with all the extra snacks as allowed for this big game. I heard a place in Chicago sent pizzas over. There are only two months and a couple weeks before Tom heads back to the states from Camp Taji, Iraq. I wish we could drive out to Ft. Bragg to welcome him back. I'll bet that is an awesome event to be on the tarmack when the troops land on base and are greeted by family!!! He thinks he will be coming home on leave in May - can't wait to see him. We miss him so much.

I had the dreaded Kentucky Fried Chicken desires yesterday - I'm not suppose to eat that greasy extra crunchy stuff - but once a year I give in and yesterday, I just had to have some - well, you know what? it just ain't as good as it use to be, and yes, it made me sick. I told Bob to never buy that stuff for me again. When will I learn?

Well, that's it in a nutshell from here. I hope you all are keeping warm and safe. Hope all's well at you place. God bless and keep you!

Help! I need a GPS for life!

My highway of life is like everyone else's life, I know, except for different faces and trials. Good days and horrible, and some days that shout out "holy crap, what next?" Ahhh, I've learnt not to say that though because there's always a "what next" and it ain't pretty.

Recently, we were blessed with a huge "miracle." One of our sons lost his job last year and moved in with us then had a motorcycle accident and his right arm was almost severed off. The arm will never "work" right but he can use his hand, write, etc. I didn't think he'd be able to go back to driving a truck, and he was declined any disability or assistance. His work experience was truck driving so once he was able, he feverishly pursued that line of work. A few weeks back a company contacted him and right now he is driving on his 90 day trial period. It is a miracle in that with today's economy and his condition he could get a job. God was truly with our son and our family. We are so thankful! I didn't think it would happen and he would be living with us forever!

Right after our son went to work, our daughter went into the hospital. She had taken an over dose of her medication - on purpose. She has a mental disability. I know this illness is not uncommon in our children today - I hear stories all the time. She had been doing fine, except in the past couple of months there's been a lot of stress, her social workers have not been as helpful but without realizing putting a lot of stress on her and it finally took its toil. Like many occurrences in life, sometimes things happen for the best - maybe she was having a relapse and we didn't see it. She recovered from the overdose and is still in the hospital being treated. She had lived in her own apartment but now will go back to group housing. She wants this change which tells me there's more to the picture than this mother is aware. She is being cared for and her medication monitored. We can visit her and when we do, she is in great spirits. There's so much as parents we just don't know.

Bob and I have our dream, but we are also helping our son and granddaughter - still. I often wonder whether God's plan is not what our dream is - sometimes it's very frustrating as an adult not to have the freedom I want because of other responsibility, and maybe my rebellious attitude is only giving me a negative attitude. It isn't easy - struggling against what you know must be done when you'd rather be doing something different.

That's life, isn't it? I am wise enough to know God has already given me His GPS for life - but there are some day's I'm too stubborn to turn it on.

Evolution of Dance

In keeping with the Theme of Music, I couldn't resist sharing this YouTube video. This guy has great moves and the variety music is outstanding! I hope you enjoy something a little different from Grandma's House. Oh, I've turned off my music for this special event - tomorrow, Nickelback will be back! Take care.

Music to soothe the stressed out mama!

The other day Tom had called home from Iraq and I have been curious about the type of music he listens to, so I asked him. I do know Tom likes classical like the "Four Seasons" but normally he will listen to his stuff. I must add, if Bob and I ride in the car with him, he will play mellow tones without asking thus showing a super side of his consideration for his old grandparent

I wrote down the names of the bands Tom mentioned. I wanted to check them out on iTunes just to see if we were in sync with music melodies. There was no difficulty locating the various bands on the iTunes store library so short term listening to various popular selections was easy - the difficulty was actually listening. Unfortunately, the sounds of some of Tom's bands were too "much" for me - I suppose on the same level the sounds of my son's heavy metal bands were too much for me in his youth - - - and the same with the sound of Elvis Presley to my mom. Oh my gosh, I was not permitted to listen or watch anything to do with Elvis Presley, even if he was on the renowned Ed Sullivan show!!!

I must be quite honest though, there was one group Tom likes - Nickelback - had some songs I thought were quite good. The one playing now. The words are quite profound. I know music is a personal entity and what is soothing to one can be nerve racking to another, as well as "being in the mood" for a certain sound. It is good for the soul to be open to at least try something new rather than be stuck in the same ole groove.

The thought has occurred to me of the generation gap and just how old I am. Oh for Heaven's sake! It is the way it is - isn't it? I've heard complaints about "elevator music" from the younger generations for years - so I can just say to them - deal with it!!! I'll take a good George Strait or Michael Buble tone any day to some bouncing head music. Holy Cow - that stuff gives me a headache but I must be fair, aw no, I don't have to be fair - there's payback - wait until they have kids. Can you imagine what the music will be like in 10 or 20 years from now.

I was raised on the Big Band and classical music - my folks and aunts and uncles went to dances constantly and mom talked about the fun they had back in the 30s and 40s. I saw Tommy Dorsey once when I was in grade school when he and his band played for us. Cool!

I think the most radical music I have in my large selection is Sting, the Police, Eagles, and the Bee Gees, I like soft jazz, mellow piano and singers, but my favorite is the Brazilian music king - Antonio Carlos Jobin, and some Charlie Byrd - boy he's good on the guitar. And now, I have added Nickelback to my collection - thanks to Tom, and to Airman Mom, too!

I haven't had the peaceful opportunity to listen to my music and relax - and I miss that - maybe that's why my blood pressure is up, well, that's part of it! I'm still waiting for instructions from God how to deal with problems of adult children and survive being a senior citizen.

EAGLE OF THE MONTH

We just received the happy news Alex has been selected for Eagle of the Month in the Second Grade. The photo is Alex with her Principal a few weeks ago as she received her Honor Roll certificate.

She works so diligently and is very thoughtful of her classmates. Last night we were talking about the paper the students fill out to share why they should be Eagle of the Month and also who they would recommend for Eagle of the Month. Alex wasn't so much concerned about herself, but the friend she recommended. She went into detail of their friendship at school and how he treats the other students. It was emotional to listen to her thoughtful expressions of unselfish compliments for another person.

She had given me a piece of paper yesterday with a drawing of a dress and pants and she told me she wanted to make these for her doll. I was very impressed with her design and choice of style. I told her I thought maybe she had abilities to be a dress designer. I am trying desperately to pack and due to constant interruptions with family crisis I am not getting much done and sewing dresses for Alex's dolls would definitely not fit in now. I did promise her once we are settled again I will teach her to sew - and I will encourage her to continue her drawings for her doll's clothes. I am not at all a perfectionists at sewing but we'll work at it. Something to look forward to doing with my granddaughter as she grows up. She has always enjoyed drawing since she was a little thing. I have boxes of her drawings some of which I've had to part with because there are only so many boxes of children's treasures a person can keep.

We were going to visit Suzanne tonight. She is doing better, but we don't know yet what the doctor has decided to do with her. She just called to say they would be moving her to another location this evening and we're to wait until tomorrow.

I do appreciate your prayers. It is difficult some days to stay on top of things. I don't know what I would do without the strength and guidance I receive from my faith. There was a time after Brian died when I didn't talk to God, although I knew I was being prayed for - I was upset with Him because I knew He could have saved Brian and healed him from his brain damage and respiratory problems. God did give me strength to take care of Brian for all those years. My list of faith accomplishments and involvements with God are lengthy and extend many years back to when I was a child. Even as a child, I felt the protection and guidance of the Spirit in my life, but wasn't as wise then about what that Spirit was. I am a very humble Christian and sometimes rebellious Catholic.

Yesterday, as I was driving home from my hair-do appointment with my wonderful hairdresser, I was deep in thought about our family situations right now. I was in the left hand turn lane and had the permission of the green light to turn. The car in front of me was going a little faster than I and had made the turn and was well ahead of me. For some reason I hesitated. I felt like I was confused even though this turn was in our neighborhood and I was very familiar with the area. I hadn't actually gotten into the traffic lane and I as I looked to the left I realized a car was coming from that direction towards where I was going to turn driving a very fast speed. There were two other cars that had already came to a full stop in their lanes. This guy was going like a "bat out of hell" and ran the red light - which had been turned red for several seconds. It is an area around schools and is an area not prone to extreme speeders but this guy was moving. I sat there for a moment still in my turn lane in semi-shock I suppose because I realized had I not hesitated he would have ran right into me. I know there are incidences in our lives that guide us, prevent us, or we sense to make a different judgement than we originally planned and I know this is the work of God in our lives. We are protected and guided because we have more to accomplish in His name on this earth.

Our trials are many and our joys and spiritual gifts are many too and they compliment each other to balance out the burdens and treasures we have on earth - if only we believe and trust in God. I know there will always be good and bad days but how we deal with that day may determine the outcome. A minute can change a lifetime.

Feeling very mellow

Haven't quite felt like blogging the past few days - too many happenings in and around the house, you know how that is some days?

Daughter Suzanne is still in the hospital - they are still evaluating her. My blood pressure is over the top and I was doing so well. Too much going on - looking for a relief, but no easy way out.

We talked and joked about why we didn't get a "how to" book when we were young and raising our kids, but never did we even imagine the trials and worries we'd have when they grew up. We have to be thankful for those good days and lasting memories of laughter.

Gotta make a list!

It's been a weird and busy week in our home. A miracle of sorts happened for which we are very thankful. However, as is my philosophy I know there's always something unexpected around the next corner and there was. Our daughter is in the hospital. So, we are in the waiting mode for the next telephone call. She is stable but her problem requires time to solve. So, we wait.

I hope you all are well and you life is good. And for those who have family members with health problems, I am praying for you too. Yesterday, God had His hands full saving the passengers on the airline that went down in the Hudson River in New York. Wasn't that phenomenal! Take good care, and God bless!

Hand written note

It's quiet here in the house at the moment - my favorite time for writing. I haven't actually written Soldier Tom a letter since December because we communicate during the week quite often via Yahoo messenger or email, but I do like to write and send clippings occasionally. And 99% of the time, I type it out and include photos and funny clip arts into my typing. Today since it is quiet I thought I would actually hand write. I love fountain pens and have a nice collection, but a special one is one Soldier Tom gave me for my birthday last year. You know how much you treasure those unique gifts from your children! This fountain pen is extra special because it came from him.

A few years back when I was caring for Brian, I would sit at the dining room table - the dining room was right next to his room. I could watch him easily, you see, we never left him alone for any length of time. We were always concerned about his respiratory problems and he also had seizures. From the dining room table I would write letters to our friends about Brian's condition and the rest of the news of our family. I could write pages and pages of news and information. I did have a principle not to "complain" or "whine" but to inform. I felt no matter how bad we had it, there was always someone else who worse problems. For a short time, Bob and I with Brian, attended a meeting for Traumatic Brain Injured individuals. The TBI patients and their parents attended. Everyone but Brian was active and could talk and move and none in that particular group were as severe as Brian was. Bob and I listened to their struggles hoping to learn. Apart for the difficulties of the lifestyle of caring for a TBI patient whether a child or adult, the majority of their problems however were with their doctors, the hospitals and insurance coverage. It was a huge struggle for them. We were more fortunate in that case because Brian did have coverage with the Veteran's Administration and was classified 100% disabled as a result of his accident which meant he receive excellent benefits. I can't say that I didn't have to fight for many of Brian's benefits, but I know in that way we were better off than those trying to get proper care through civilian methods. It was very necessary to become very savvy and fight, but the benefits were there. It wasn't easy, don't get me wrong, but Brian did have full coverage. We were very grateful for that regardless of anything else. I realized early on, there was always something worse to deal with until later when Brian died. My life changed. I stopped writing letters. I had a broken heart and could not put the pain into words. It took several years until I could "express" how I felt, and even still, after almost nine years I cannot go into some of the depths of sadness I felt then and still now.

In general, and on a level thinking space, I do enjoy writing but unfortunately, getting older and having acquired arthritis the written word is curtailed and disrupted from what once was a beautiful handwriting. It is discouraging and probably one reason I hesitate to hand write letters more often. I do think taking the time to write a personal letter by hand is the purest expression of friendship and love. Using a word processor program is quick and there's the availability of the spell checker and thesaurus too. I do have a big Oxford Thesaurus and Dictionary available even with the spell checker fails. I recall when I attended Catholic schools back in the day when things were extremely articulate we were taught to turn in hand written pure clean papers with no scratched out words. And, the exception would if you did make an error, only one clear clean line through the word and make the correction next to the misspelled word. A neat paper was the utmost goal as pursued by our teacher back then. There are habits I learned fifty years ago that remains, another was the finger position when I was playing the piano. If you were never taught this way, you wouldn't realize the advantage or the beauty in these two simple things.

I hear the beep of the coffee pot telling me I have a fresh pot of Dunkin Donut coffee ready to be savored. The sun is shinning through the bay window in the kitchen where I can observe and enjoy the peace of the morning and watch the hummingbirds feed on the feeders outside the sunny window. Having a calm environment will relate to the words I put on paper for Tom to read and experience. He'll be coming stateside soon so in the next couple of weeks, I'll be sending fewer letters to Iraq ----- unless he's sent back.

I hope you are well. I hope you have a blessed calm day with little worries. God be with you.

Gary Sinise of CSI NY

We just finished watching Fox News - Gary Sinise visiting the troops in Iraq last year. He also appeared with his band - Lt Dan's Band. The show was awesome, check the link above you are are interested in reading and viewing about his trip. He's been visiting the troops over there since 2003.

Just received a lot of photos from Tom today. This photo was taken at Freedom Rest - a place in Iraq for the solders to go to relax for a couple of days. He was even able to wear civilian clothes which he had to go out and buy from the Camp Taji store. He really had a great time. He's back to work now.

Windy and Sunny

All's quiet on the Sullivan home front! Aaahhhh, hear that? Nothing, no sounds except for two - Bob's practicing his guitar and singing solo - - so low so no one can hear him.

New Years eve and the first day of the year and the rest of the week passed without much a-do! We took the Christmas down this week and I am working on packing the ornaments now. Actually, I'm repacking and taking my time. I love to do this task, it's like going down memory lane since many of the little things we have on the tree are from the kids when they were little and the grandkids too. Our tree is decorated in an old-fashioned motif - the old with the new. I'm an eclectic decorator anyhow, so why shouldn't my tree be too.

This is Granddaughter Alex, she's all dressed up to go to school to get her Honor Roll Award. The school principal decided this semester to have an assembly for the parents to attend to see their child/children receive their awards - great idea.

I am waiting on Tom to send more photos from Iraq, then I will post them here. He only has a little more than three months until he's back stateside.

Hope you are well. God bless. And, thank you God, for prayers answered. We are grateful.

An Army Christmas 2008, Camp Taji, Iraq