Grandchildren living with Grandparents

Recently our granddaughter graduated from 5th grade. Next year she will attend another school. She and her dad, our son, has lived with us for six years and we've been there to help care for our granddaughter when our son had to work or was sleeping. We are like "second parents" only older. Recently her mom moved back to town. She had lived quite a distance away and visited every couple of years but kept in touch quite often. Today I feel a huge sense of loneliness and the blues. If you've raised children, you know there's a certain age when they start becoming their own person and are no longer totally dependant on parents or others for guidance. Our granddaughter hit that stage this year. We are so very proud of her. She excels at everything she does. But now, since her mom has arrived back in town, I really feel left out. It is an empty feeling today and shedding lots of tears. This isn't the first grandchild to step out and away. We also raised a grandson - raised him like our son because his mother, our daughter is mentally ill. When he joined the Army, then came home with a girlfriend, he went off to lead his own life. I have no problems with that - - it's what we want. We weren't so selfish thinking they would forever be here, we wouldn't want that, but it's the "ties that are broken" that has affected me today. I feel as tho we have become secondary whereas once we were who they looked to for guidance and knowledge and help. We have another granddaughter who we cared for during her youth. We found out through Facebook that she was having our very first great granddaughter. It was a shock to me to find out that way. She is a precious young woman and I've had so much fun with her when she's been around. And, yes, we have other grandchildren, but we weren't as close to them as we were these three. It is a different lifestyle when your grandchildren live with you - - its a dependance as tho they were your own. We are not able to move as fast or be as energenic as we were when we were raising our own children, but we get the job done. We do what we can because we want to do the best for them we can. Being older and having grandchildren, we know more than we did when we raised our own children, we see more clearly and maybe we have more love to share because we aren't expected to, we just can. But, when they live in your home, there is a bond, and strong bond, at least on our part. I've realized the past day or two since our granddaughter has been with her mother and thinking of my grandson as he is in college and working full time and living with his girlfriend, that it is I who must change now. It is time that I fill my time with things for me and my wonderful husband. I'll still have responsibilities for our granddaughter as long as she lives with us but I must fess up and realize I have to give up my "ties" now that her mom is back. She is a very loving mother, don't get me wrong and our granddaughter loves being with her - as she should. But Grandparents who have grandchildren living with them have a different role. When parents take those grandchildren "away" I know it is a heart tearing experience even tho it may only be temporary. Emptiness and void is how I feel today.

Do you Twitter?

There are so many social network programs to join on the internet today, sometimes it gets confusing or difficult to decide which one is right to join. I joined Twitter a year or so ago. I do like it because of the volume of interests, topics, visions, and opinions available to select to be connected with and also not to mention real celebrities too. Where else in our huge planet earth can we actually have direct contact with notable people and read their thoughts and ideas. Every day I find a new topic and a new person to follow. I can be me on Twitter as opposed to my Facebook page I do have Friends who do not have the same political views so I do not "push" my conservative viewpoint. I do post some conservative articles, rarely, because I do have friends who are right wing too. I am sensitive as are my liberal friends. I only had one situation with a guy I went to grade school with who was a very set liberal. He was also a newspaper man, very well written and excellent at expressing his point of view. He was more astute in his writing than I am and I knew I didn't stand a chance to discuss our difference. His point of view became almost hostile. At that I just unfriended and blocked him. I love Facebook because I have connected with friends I haven't seen or heard from in over 45 years. It's marvelous. But twitter is another side of human nature - a quick quote, a post to an article in the newspaper or magazine, a link to an interesting place to visit. Every day is something new and you can always find comfort in the fact there will be someone who agrees with your viewpoint. I find that refreshing and a bit peaceful. I have enough turmoil in my every day family live. I want to chose what and who I read and what is said. It's just not all political. Recently a jewelry maker accepted my Twitter and when I was alerted to this, I checked her twitter page and found a very talented lady with beautiful jewelry and I am a real fan of beautiful jewelry. So, you never know with twitter - and you can accept who follows you or block them. But you'll never know whether you'll like it until you try it! Hope all is well with you and yours. Have a beautiful day.

Rita Wilson, her new album

Here's Rita Wilson's AM FM new album. Just had to share it!

Another Lazy Sunday afternoon

Enjoying private time in my office, sorting out paperwork that has collected since the first of the year.  Being very sick for several months really took a toil on my filing and organizing.  What a mess!  It's always good to be back here alone.  I can play my music at whatever volume I desire.  My adult son's bedroom is right next to this room so the times I can play my music is rare because he sleeps during the day.

I'm listening to Rita Wilson's new album "AM-FM" - - be sure to get it if you like some of the oldies songs.  She's really fantastic and really brings chills to my bones and gives me the dancing fever. 

Listening to her too has put my blues off the chart and onto a blank page - later to deal with.  Family stuff.  We have a grandson we raised, now he has a girlfriend, to be married next year.  They live a few miles for us but are very busy, college and work and social life............very far removed from our life.  I just told Bob we could move away and they wouldn't miss us.  I know it sounds like a pity party, but it doesn't hurt for him to stop by and say hi! once in a while - - they usually only come by when I fix a dinner.  We like her, she's very nice and they make a good couple.  But, that is the way it is.  Just some of the things of life I wish were different.

Daughter Suz was over yesterday and we watched Part One of the last Harry Potter movie.  I am such a Harry Potter geek, just can't get enough of the books and movies.  Weird for someone as old as I am, I guess!

Since I was so sick, I lost a lot of weight, but not enough, I wasn't eating anything, it was bad.  Now I am trying to get more weight off and it is sure difficult.  I have to watch my salt, gosh almighty, I didn't realize how much salt is in food and just exactly what the limit per day we should have - not very much!!!  Only a teaspoon if you are interested.  If you read the sodium content on boxes of items you purchase it will surprise you! 

It's a windy day here in the Las Vegas valley again with high temperatures of only 104'....earlier this week it was up near 116'.   We're really having odd changeable weather.  Haven't been swimming yet, it takes several consistent days of over 100' for the pool water to warm up enough to be comfortable.

Isn't it something it's June already?  Granddaughter Alex will be out of school this week and she will be a 6th grader.  There's a graduation ceremony this week.  Should be fun.  Her brother (step) Mike will graduate from high school this month too. 

One of our granddaughters graduated from high school yesterday.  She is pregnant with our first great-granddaughter.  She's not going to get married but wants to keep the baby.  She'll be living with the "father's" family.  We love her very much, she's a sweet girl.  We sure do wish her the very best.  She lives far away from us so it will be a long time before we see our new great-grandbaby.

Ending this note with this thought and question, when you get the blues, do you have a solution or something special you do to keep from going off the deep end or crying all the time?  Let me know what works for you.

Take good care and have a wonderful week.  May God bless you and your with abundant blessings.

Peaceful Sunday

So many times I've wanted to write to you but my mind wonders and I forget.  I am at the age of often forgetfulness.  I worry if it is maybe the onset of Alzheimer's but its probably just senility at least that's what my husband says. 

It's been a difficult five months of this year.  Lots have happened, but worst of all I've been very very sick.  I'm thankful to be feeling better.  I hope to do better at posting here.  First thing is adding or changing some photos.

The best news, well, there two - Tom and Tine will be getting married next May - in 2013.  She invited me to go with her and the girls when they picked out their dresses.  It was a fun couple of days.  Oh so beautiful dresses.  Tine blessed me with the privilege of hiding the dress here in our home so Tom doesn't see it.  Tom is our grandson and we raised him.  He met Tine when he was stationed at Ft Bragg in the Army and she is from Germany. 

The second best news is our granddaughter Keeley who lives in Charleston, SC, is having a baby in July.  It is a girl.  This will be our first Great Grandbaby.  So exciting.

We have chickens now, not sure I mentioned this in any previous posts.  Bob has always been a lover of chickens.  We had them on the farm in KY.  And since we do live in a rural area of Henderson there was no reason for him not to have them here.  They are funny and do give us excellent eggs.

It's a beautiful hot day here in the desert southwest.  I made homemade chicken soup this morning.  Bob has made some pizza dough and pretty soon we'll put the pizzas together and bake them  We've invited Tom and Tine over for pizza and to play some cards. Tine got us involved in German Rummy, it's played with two decks and a few additional rules from what is normal with regular Rummy..

Hope you all are well and life is good for you.  Take good care and God bless. 

Commitment

I have been away from Blogging for almost a year.  I think about it especially when I am sad, in a bad mood, or sick.......why not when I'm happy??  Good question. 

There's so much that's happening in our family, but I just haven't taken the time to write.  It's Lent now, and it is the time when I should write testimony as to what Lent should mean to me, I should, it does the soul good.

Then there's the Politics of the Day which is driving me nutsy.  It's like when one term is over then a whole new bunch starts campaigning for the next voting season.  Do you think they could end it this time.  Will November hurry up so we can get it over with.

No, I don't want November to hurry up - there's too much to do in between time.

I've been sick for a couple of months and I hate it.  Not sure it's serious or not, need to go see the doctor, but there's another "issue" of complaint.  They hired two new nurses who are not nurses.  One girl have absolutely no experience and the other has some.  Two nurses left - one was fired and the other moved away.  The one nurse we really liked was fired, she had tons of experienced, in fact, she had more experience than any nurse that had been hired in that office, they said she couldn't get the computer operations and I just don't believe that.  We told our doc several times how much we liked here - we know our doc a lot longer than any of the girls he has now.  So, I don't know, I think getting older is making me too picky!!!

So, here I am, the first time back and I complain.  Well, I'm back I hope.  I have so many new photos to share - another big job to do.

Hope you all are well.  And life is good for you and your families!!  Do take good care.  God bless!

Autumn

Busy day today.  Both Bob and I have annual physician's check ups today.  We went through the blood work and machine tests and today the doc will look us over and give us the results.  Both of us should be find.  Only huge problem is our weight.  So, we'll see how it goes.

I've been on a slow moving merry go round search this way and that for stuff I want to do.  I am a Harry Potter fan, but I feel guilty when I spend too much time reading or listening to podcasts or researching.  I shouldn't since I'm semi-old and retired.  No boss to tell me what to do.  Bob really doesn't care, as long as he has clean laundry and food, he's a contented man.  I wouldn't neglect him.

The weather is gorgeous here in our Valley right now.  I love the fall desert climate.  It's time to take a drive or two up to the mountains and other nice places to see the leaves changing.  Our tree leaves are changing very gradually to yellow just a few at a time.  Beautiful.

I realized why I was depressed and crying, it was the pain pills.  They were also creating other internal problems so I've tried to cut back on them.  I am monitoring my pain levels and activity and using them only when I have too.  I need knee replacement on both knees, but I am huge chicken and don't particularly want my knees cut off.  Once they're gone, that's it, and nothing is ever perfect.  I have too many negative elements going for me that will create problems, I realistic about that, so for now, I'll deal with the inconvenience of pain and walking slower.  With the onset of cooler weather, I am going to attempt to walk more often with Bob in the evening and hopefully that may help.  We'll see.

I'll be adding and changing photos soon.  Hope you are well and life is good and blessed for you.  Take good care, and God bless.

Anxiety Attacks

Do you self-diagnosis when things don't feel right or seem right with you?  Or, do you run to your physician at the first sign of a problem?  Do you have confidence in your doctor to get the right diagnosis?

At my age, how I am feeling has become first and foremost and I've become almost paranoid about how I feel.  When I was young, any pain I had I just brushed it off and keep moving on to finish what job I was doing.  My mother-in-law called me the Duracell Bunny cause I do work so fast and do so much.

It is very disconcerting as each year passes and I move slower and seem to feel worse than the last.  I'm a borderline positive thinker.  I say borderline because if I was a total positive thinker I wouldn't be writing this morning.  I know my environment has a lot to do with my attitude and we all know sometimes you can't do everything to change what's going on in your home to change things.  I've gotten sermons from friends to do thing and that to change things, but have you looked at the economy lately, that does have a little to do with many big things. 

Last year I had a very strange outburst - an outburst that was definitely not me.  I don't know where my reaction "came from" I don't know what caused it.  The doctor sort of blamed low blood sugar, maybe, but I'm not sure.  Recently, I had another outburst her in my home with strangers from another friends family sitting around our kitchen table.  I just lost it and verbally and loudly rebounded to a comment from a young woman dating my grandson.  I don't understand my reaction.  I wasn't sorry either and I'm still not, but I'm confused. 

I have also been crying a lot.  I am very sensitive, but it's not only seeing the soldiers returning from Afghanistan or babies hurt or those types of things which stimulate most feeling people, I cry about more simple things and at weird times.  I just burst out crying, hard and with robust tears. 

I can recover and then joke with my husband.  It's not a depressive mood I carry all day long.  My husband and I joke all the time and I am so glad - it breaks the spell and I want it too.

I am wondering if the Anxiety is due to the pain I am enduring.  I am hoping it is that simple.  My health is near good - I am overweight and we are attempting to lose weight.  We've been on this diet monitoring our intake of food and it's been successful so far.  Both my husband and I are doing this together.  I could blame the change of eating habits, but this anxiety has been going on for a year now. 

I wonder if it's related to age.  I am a senior citizen.  Could it be the economy?  Could it be the fact our youngest son who is 40 years old lives with us with his daughter and has for 5 years now.  It isn't a wonderful situation.  We had four children, raised a grandson, have a mentally disturbed daughter who is stable enough to live on her own, but have this son living with us.  My husband and I have a fantastic relationship.  He is my greatest blessing in my life. 

I know we all have difficulties on this earth.  We are not put here with a guarantee of happiness everyday.  We are not promised total great health.  Some struggle with worse health problems than I, and I know that.  But my life as it is now, is being less and less fulfilling. 

I get so stressed out even going to dinner at a hotel as we did last week.  I can't stand any abnormal behavior by the people around me, those with me in a group - my family or my friends.  Things I can't control, I just come unglued and lose it.  This happened when we took visiting people out to dinner at a big hotel buffet.  They are from Germany and their young daughter kept getting by the slot machines even after they were told many times to keep her away.  A Big Security guard came to me and told me to get her away - - I am old, it was not my daughter.  I was struggling to breath, and he approached me.  There were others who spoke English, I am not sure why he came to me and it was upsetting.  And, I was upset at them.  I didn't handle it well.  Unfortunately, I don't care at this point how I handled it and these are reactions I am not comfortable with.  Another time I would have known better, I would have been more understanding with more patience.

Health related problems, aging, and stress can, I believe, cause behavior problems which lead to reactions not necessarily normal.  I am hoping these are valid reasons for my situation these days. 

If you have had any difficulties or symptoms like these, please share. 

May God bless and keep you safe. 

I feel like a stranger in Harry Potter world!



It's the count down to the U. S. release of Harry Potter Part 2 and I can't wait.  I mentioned to Bob this morning that of my friends on FaceBook there are only two or three others who seem to have the same intense interest as I do and as the oldest of the three or four I wonder if I have my priorities straight - but I don't care about that, but what does it mean for a 65 plus a few years old woman to love Harry Potter!!! 

When I grab onto something with interest it is a full mind obsession.  I will admit there are things about Potter that I haven't quite grasped by I am not bothered by it - I have plenty of time to find the reason, no one's pressing me. 

I am totally and completely amazed by J. K. Rowling and her imagination and there's more to come.  How creative can that be???  Totally amazingly talented.  She is a very humble person.  Her reaction when she saw herself on the big screen at the premiere was sort of funny, she didn't want to look at herself, even though she looked great.  Her reaction was of humility, not concerned with her looks per se as so many big stars are - she just wanted to be with her actors and her fans.
 

I have signed up for Pottermore however I feel like a beetle in a pond of water.  I will wade in until I get a grip of what is expected.  In no way can I compete with the young "wizards" who have grown up in the technology world of computer games.  I am a solid computer person - my computers and I have 3 computers - and I are as close as my favorite wooden spoon or my excellent rubber spatula with the metal handles and my Kitchen aid mixer.  There is no me without computer, however, I may have a higher than average understanding of my machines, I am not as up on the games as many are - I have not delve into that realm of life - maybe it's a fear of become obsessive.......again....on something new.  Just think about it really, this machine can take us anywhere we want to go without leaving our comfort stage for the moment.  Unless the web cam is turned on no one knows if I've combed my hair - amazing and I love it!!  Don't have to prove anything to anyone - but I can fill my mind until it explodes. 

But, back to Pottermore, I am nervous.  I have signed up and they accepted my email address.  I hope I can remember my password.  I do change it and sometimes forget to write it down even if I do it in code, sometimes I forget my code - that's what I lay on being a senior citizen but I know it happens to everyone too.  I am hoping once I am IN Pottermore I will be guided through the maze so I can advance appropriately, I don't want to be stuck in one area.  But, I am scared, apprehensive, by fingers are shaking thinking of this new Harry Potter world that is suppose to offer the fans new information.  I just hope I can get with it and learn. 

I did realize recently that I had a crush on Severus Snape - I couldn't believe it.  Then when I saw "him" at the Premiere I was totally zapped!!!  Alan Rickman is as he is - his voice is awesome.  I told my husband he needed to get a black outfit like Severus and change his voice to a low slow pitch.  Oh - it's ok, we're married 47 years and he isn't surprised by anything new.

Have a truly wonderful day. Take good care. And, best of all may God bless you with all that you need to get you through this beautiful day!

Happy Fourth of July 2011 everyone!

We are watching the 4th of July celebrations from Washington, DC which now is the fireworks displays and the music from our wonderful military bands.  It was a wonderful presentation most worth of our wonderful country.
There are lots of fireworks going off in our neighborhood from all sides of our home as I type.  We were able to see one of the large displays from our back yard.  There were lots and lots of unusual displays by professions shot from the roofs of the hotel/casinos in Las Vegas as well.

Hoping you and your family are well.  Hope you had a safe and happy 4th of July.  God bless America and all Her People.

Reading Club - Agatha Christie

As I mentioned yesterday, I've been reading about Book Clubs and this one in particular which involves reading my very favorite arthor, Agatha Christie. I'm going to post the link which I've copied from a blogger who is involved with this club - and I hope it is an active link, if not, I'll have to do some messing around to get the active link. I will be putting some links on the side of my page too - please be patient with me. I'm not feeling well and at this time reading and my computer are my best friend. 

This is the address to the Agatha Christie Summer Book Club

 

Reading club

Just a quick post today - I just did something new  - I joined an online reading club.  The books will be by Agatha Christie's.  I love her methods and her mysteries, so I am looking forward to posting more about it and the link.

Hope you are well and life is good for you and your family.  Talk to you soon.

The Age of Beginning Forgetfulness

For the second time, that I can remember anyhow, I lost my way while preparing a dish for dinner.  The is a very simple dish.  Prepared it a ka-zillion times for my children and more for my grandchildren.  It isn't important what the dish was as it is the emotion of my moment. 

When you have done something so simple, so routinely, without even having to think about it, actions as smooth as silk, then wham! what a minute this isn't right.  It hits you like a light going out in a dark room.  Like a loud sound in a quiet place.  I went about the movements of preparations, but I knew something was wrong.  I was almost at the end, but it wasn't right, why did I proceed like this?  It's not right but what is wrong?  Time passed, I don't know how long, but enough I knew as the dinner was almost ready, I had done something wrong.  I was able to recoup the recipe from the recipe file which is stored in my brain - I don't write my favorite recipes down, I just know how to do it - never measuring, just know from looking. 

This dish is a simple one, easy to fix, and in the end, it was as it should be.  But, I know the forgetting is only the beginning. 

The other recipe is my mom and dad's famous chili recipe.  I have forgotten it.  This was a recipe created by my mom and dad to serve in the restaurant they owned as I was growing up.  The recipe is nothing like any you'd find in a recipe book or on line.  It was my mom and dad's recipe.  I tried making it the other day, but it wasn't right.  It was horrible.  And, you know you can only serve chili to your family so often.  I will keep trying.

And yes, I have started writing my recipes down.  I don't type them out, I write them down and I'll tell you why.  I have a huge binder, well actually several, with recipes from my girlfriends and from family members including my mom.  Some are typed and many are written.  You can tell the ones I've used more often than others by the food stains on the cards or the pieces of papers.  And, I even have pieces of paper without any title on the ingredients, some have cooking temps and others don't.  If you have the knack for cooking and baking you know automatically what temp to use, but not if you are "forgetful."  So I want my recipes written so when my family goes through my recipes they will remember my handwriting and this will bring back the memories. 

Long time no post...again!

Yikes, this is becoming a like a bad habit this non-posting laziness.  I've gotten too taken up with Facebook and black and white movies on Turner Classic Movie channel.  I will once more make every attempt to be religious and make some type of comment each day.

There isn't a lot to discuss when you're retired and in a state of limbo economically.  Decisions to be make whether to sell or home and downsize or stay where we are for now.  Both my side kick and I would love to move back the the country somewhere.  We've talked about Texas near Fredericksburg.  We enjoyed visiting the area, especially Luckenbach.  But at our age relocating wouldn't be as fun as it was when we were younger. 

Our family which consists of our children and a couple grandchildren live here.  My extended family, father, mother and brother are at another location that I can't go to yet - Heaven.  I have aunts and cousins in Ohio but I've been gone too long to reconnect.  Although I love Ohio, it is a beautiful state, I do wish we had moved there in our younger marriage years.

Our area here has a water problem which means unless something serious is done or God provides us with a lot of rain, we will be out of water then we will be in huge financial devastation.  With that knowledge you'd think we'd be getting the heck out of Dodge, but no, there's too many other reasons.  So we stay but continue looking at houses on line and wondering what to do.

My side kick hubby has a bad cold and has been down and out all week, so we've been living in a pretty quiet state this week.  I have a number of books staring me down to be read.  One is Steven Tyler's biography.  I am a very unlikely person to read such a book - you would think that if you met me, but after watching American Idol for the very first time in our lives, I was impressed with his respect of the contestants.  I like his gentleness in telling each one the good and the bad, where as the other two judges I thought were mean spirited and had favorites.  So, as I've gotten into Steven Tylers book, I realize I'm in for some rough moments especially language.  I'm a big girl, actually and old senior citizen and I believe that I do have rights to "learn" or experience what I choose.  I'm certainly not going to run out now and live a life of sin, it isn't who I am.  I can skim over those rough parts. 

Plans changed, grandson Tom just called, his gal Tine is going to nursing school and she wants to come over and take our blood pressure, a class project I suppose. 

I'll send this on with best wishes and prayers that you are well and life is good for you and your family.  Do take good care.  Oh, I will be updating my photos soon.

Good Friday

It's a day like all the rest except for the knowledge of the traditional worship and respect for what this day signifies.  It is necessity of Faith to meditate on Christ and how this day changed the life of all Christians.  Without this day, the human race of Religious People would not be the same. 

I have not been as true to my faith as I once was - I don't attend Mass like I did.  My belief and faith in God is still strong and I pray diligently as I always did - and I believe He is with me.  My excuses are real to me and my intentions are honest as I do want to do back to Mass, I know something is missing.  But there are changes in my health that prevent me from going. 

When I was young I had so much energy, pills were non-existent in my life.  But all seemed to fall apart as I got older especially when my son Brian died.  I never experienced pain as I do today.  I know I need my Church more than ever.  I need the community of faith as well but this community is different - difficult to fit in, we've tried and it's very discouraging.  Where once going to Church met meeting with neighbors and chatting, coffee, even pot lucks, even breaking bread in our homes together.  It's not like that here - so its not like we tried once, so getting out of that rut and attitude is one additional obstacle to going.  Excuses. 

This morning after watching the morning news I went outside and sat in the sun.  It was beautiful out.  We have hummingbirds who "live" here and one small male hummer was resting in one of the flower bushes near where I was sitting.  He had taken possession of the bush because when a larger male came around the smaller one ran him off, he was chattering and telling the larger hummer off.  My husband eventually came out and sat with me.  He is hard of hearing and could not hear the hummer chattering or the Mockingbird off in the distance singing her morning song.  It is sad when you can't hear the jobs of nature, I feel so bad for him.  He taught me so much about nature throughout our marriage.  He was a city/country boy - his grandparents had a farm and it was his favorite place to go growing up.  He eventually changed made me to a city/country girl too.

But, I'm drifting off the theme of Good Friday.  It is the suffering of our Lord Jesus Christ that set us free.  He paid for our sins but we still have a commitment to follow His rules.  We must love one another honestly, truthfully, and with all our heart and by that we are loving HIM.  You might say there's more to that but how can there be - if we truly love we can't break any laws or rules.  Loving means respect, and with respect there can be no law breaking.  No lying, no cheating, no harassment, no being mean or vulgar.  Loving is caring and feeling compassion and doing the Lord's work no matter how simple.  We do what we can do.  We do what he brings in our life and puts in front of us willingly and accepting. 

This is my humble opinion.

Flustered

I have a bad attitude right now. It's silly to feel like this. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make this wish a reality right now, but life doesn't give us those advantages. Also, this thing isn't that bad to be so upset about but it's the steps one must go through to reach the end result and final answer to complete the solution that is time consuming.

It has to do with the federal government and a benefit - one which a member of our family is eligible. He insists he doesn't need it, but he's only a young man with not a lot of experience of life under his belt - he has no clue, really! We're trying to help and maybe he doesn't what to put us out or maybe be involved. It involved health insurance coverage - the advantage of the new Obama law of children up to age 26 on parents polities.

We were his legal guardians and he is eligible but we have to fill out the right forms even though he had already been on the policy before - new forms, more waiting time........don't like waiting, getting older as a senior citizen has driven out the patience I use to have.

Oh, don't get me wrong in most cases I have tons of patience - I enjoy sitting and watching people in a hurry knowing their haste won't get them there any quicker - or watch speeding care zoom by and realize we'll most likely get the same place they do only a few seconds later - they have the most probably of getting a speeding ticket too.

I waited 45 minutes for a federal person to answer the telephone. He was very nice and helpful however I goofed and failed to take down important information thinking I was going back to an original number for more information - which didn't pan out. I am agitated at myself and at the process. I had more patience and where with all when a was younger, but these day, it affects me to the point of a very bad mood.

It's not the end of the world. My time is not taken up during the day with important tasks. Being retired I do have lots of free time to do this stuff so I should be ashamed of myself for complaining.

My husband just came in and patted me on the shoulder and thanked me for doing this task for him. He dislikes it even worse than I do. It's always nice to be noticed and thanked for a good job even when the job isn't an earth shaking paper pusher event.

I feel better now.

It's already well into the New Year.

I have been so delinquent writing in my blog. I was over come with fun in Farmtown and Farmville on Facebook. My thinking ability to write was removed and replace by competition with my husband. When I realized that we weren't doing anything but sitting on our rear ends doing those two Facebook games, and on yes, then the Vineyard, I sort of threw a fit. He had no time for me. So, for LOVE we gave those things up. It's not that we get more loving but at least we do talk more often. The more loving part has been acceptable as is because of our age and our conditions.

I was thinking the other night "Getting Old" is a good topic and I've probably talked about it until you are bored to tears. Unfortunately, once you hit a certain age your body does change - or well, even illness will change your bodies capabilities, and aging doubles the anxieties.

I have friends who have very full lives. The travel and are very active in sports. They are vibrant and energetic. They are the same age as I am. Our life styles are different and I've had more children so I wonder if that has had anything to do with it. Hmmm, I wonder. Does having kids wear a mother out thus leaving her vulnerable for extra illnesses? My Aunts who had far more children than I did all suffer from one to many sort of illnesses. But, it's too late for me to change that and you might say why dwell on it. And, you would be perfectly correct.

Of late, however, I have contemplated on when exactly I began feeling so very crappy and every year it is worse. Finally, I decided the best thing to do would be blogging it which is sort of documenting, then I can come back for reference. I'll try to vary my topics so not to become so redundant.

I do need to change my photos too - lots of water under the bridge since I last posted.

I hope you all are well and you and your family are all well. We had the best Christmas ever - very memorial. It was nice. I hope yours was the same.

Take care and God bless.

Just another Saturday

Good morning! It is a beautiful morning. Cool enough to leave the sliding glass door open. Fall is upon us I thought I heard the weatherman say, but our desert temperatures are going back up into the 100s. The pool water is cold but this week will be the last hurrah, it's a must to get in all the swimming before the chilly winds come around and it won't be a pleasant feeling when I get out of the pool. I am so mousy and picky since I've gotten older, don't know what happened to my stamina. I blame it all on the day Brian die. I need to give it up and turn it around, but maybe it's my excuse to hold on to it.

Do you feel like you are in a rut and it is the way your life is suppose to be? I know that may seem negative sounding, but the things that happen to us seem to be in the same format. I know there is an easy out by saying no but that wouldn't be true to form. It would be difficult. I've never done it - well, I'm trying. It's different, it's not my style, but its becoming a necessity.

I have a question? Have you heard from God today? If so, what was the outcome? Aside from all the blessings in your life that we take for granted, don't you have prayers for help and assistance for some problem you need solved and don't you feel like you've prayed forever and there's been no signs that you can recognize? I've been praying for a specific solution, sign, change, or whatever to the same situation in my life for years, so has my husband. I ask him every once in a while if he's gotten an answer yet, and his reply is the same, no answer. Outside of the regular Catholic prayers that are so routine in my day, I'll let out a "Hey God, I'm still down here, how about............(He knows what, I'm sure of it!!) My eyes are elevated to the Heavens as though I am seeing straight through the clouds to the pearly gates. Nothing. Just nothing..........so if there is no answer, sign, or anything, is it just as it is!!! A blank sheet! What do I do - keep on keeping on in an as is journey!

It's getting difficult, there must be change. I don't know what to do. I hope there is an answer soon.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. I hope too that God blesses you with all your needs.

Disgusting turn of life events

It's all Facebook's fault...for the past year I have spend more time sitting on my backside than I have in all the time of my whole life on earth.

This morning the reality of that sit down reflected in the ugly turn of the dial on my bathroom weight scale. I was in the state of shock at the revelation of the numbers that appeared. I've been ignoring that piece of equipment for many months. Being in a state of depression and hating the state of events in my life, the last thing I've wanted to care about was the little numbers on the face of that awful piece of equipment. Today was to be my face to face with reality since my health have gone down hill so drastically - I knew part of it was the weight, but I didn't expect what I saw.

And yes, Facebook is one of the culprets to be blamed. I blame my husband too. I blame my kids, I blame the weather, and I blame this one and that one.......but mostly I blame myself.

I am blessed with a good life - a wonderful husband of 46 years, but the lifestyle stinks. We have plans to change but things aren't lining up. We try to make the best of it, but it isn't good enough for me. Seeing the positive admidst all the negatives isn't always easy. What I see as a paint in the patootee many not be to you --- but by this time in my life I didn't expect to be tied down still raising kids, especially when they are not mine. I know, it may seem life it would be easy enough to get out of but not when children are involved - that's my core belief. You can't go against your core believe - at least not as a mother.

So here I am faced with the reality of needing to "start all over" again. I am signed up on Weight Watcher's online" - it's not real expensive, but its enough, but better than going to the meetings which I've done. The meetings are ok, in fact both Bob and I were going and we enjoyed it. But, after the trip to Maine and lobster rolls - only putting back a couple of pounds, surprise! - the meeting has accummulated about 20 more people and it wasn't the same. The group leader was wonderful and we really liked her, but the tone of the environment wasn't the same, so we quit. I have found the online site is helpful - as long as I log everything I eat everyday - it really does work - for me.

Bob has also gained and he also weighs more weight that he ever has. He has to have knee surgery as do I - - but the physicians have told both of us to loss weight first......We don't seem to pay attention to those guys - - - but what has hit us is the fact we can't breath and are having huge difficulty getting around without struggling...thus making our tasks of playing on Facebook a whole lot more fun.

We've started this week to be serious about what we put in our mouth. It's a lifelong program for both of us. It is easy for Bob to lose weight, he is more active than I am. I have a slower metabolism - always have been that way all my life even when I was extremely active.

Hope you and your family are well and life is good for you. May the Good Lord Bless and Keep You!

My oh my how time flies when you're having a blast!

I was connected to "Pioneer Woman" website entering a contest and I had forgotten my blog name so when I connected here I saw I hadn't posted since August - I was ashamed!!!

So many things have happened, well, events have happened since I last wrote. I had a birthday and turned 66 - I think, wait a minute, let me count!!! If you think that's funny, it is because I do forget because I really don't want to think I've gotten this far YET!!!! Believe me I haven't gotten this far without a battle either. It was so much fun up until a point then it seemed like all heck broke loose.

A friend made the point the other day he was leaving the 40s and adding the 5 on - and he was thoughtfully reticent about the up and coming event. My response was the 50s are still pretty good, but it was in the 60s when I started going down hill big time. This guy is a hiker though - he has a huge advantage over my lifestyle - he will do fine. His mom is several years older than me and she hikes up the Alps, and looks great. I'll just say, if you have the advantage and opportunity to do that type of exercise - do it!!! Unfortunately, my life took a different turn and I never had that chance.

My responsibility can in the form of caring for my son. We all have choices and bends to take in our life. Some have a straight way to go, others have many bends....but you know I think in the end, we all have our share of trials one way or the other.

We also celebrated our 46 wedding anniversary. It was uneventful, decided by both to be so. We are grateful to be together that long. As Bob will say - I am his best friend and I say to him - He is my best friend. We have fun together, we cry together, and we pray together. So, that pretty much says it all. Through the grace and blessings of God we have made it this far. It was meant to be even though it was "love at first sight!"

Next we had another birthday - Bob's, he made the last number before 70. Where has the time gone??? I can't fathom where the time has gone so quickly!!! We celebrated his birthday for the whole weekend because one or the other of the kids couldn't be here - so Tom and Tine could come on Friday, the others were here on Sunday. We had lots of cake this weekend - - not too good for our Weight Watcher diet but we counted.

Our health is about as good as it gets for our age - - we have routine knee problems still waiting on surgery for both of us. Other problems some serious some not so bad but we have lots to be thankful for - God has been good but we still have a special prayer for our future hanging out there and we haven't heard from HIM yet!!!! I know HE's heard it because we've seen other prayers of ours answered!!! The Mysteries of the Lord are many.

We have one more birthday this month - - our very special grandson Tom - we raise him. He is going to college now, studying to be a Paramedic. He has completed his three years in the Army and is home for now. We are so proud of him.

Economy stinks - our son and granddaughter still live with us. But the others are doing fine.

It's even stranger how fast this year has gone - like in fast motion. We went swimming today and the water has gone from being like warm bath water to ice cube cold. In this dry desert air once the temps get back down in the 90s or even lo 100 the water starts cooling off. We are enjoying the pool for the last few days the heat remains in the 90s - we are brave.

Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas we will on us before we can turn around twice and blink. I hope things turn out better for our country soon. It's very stressful to see the things going on around us.

Well, folks I hope you are well and things for you have been good. May God bless you abundantly with all the blessings and miracles you need each day.