What does retirement mean to me!

Retirement means no alarm clocks unless the alarm sound is coming from another room in the house occupied by a misplaced son who needs to get up and leave at 3 AM. He is a truck driver and stopped by to visit on route north from southern state. My mental alarm clock went off before his did, seems a mother's instinct never evaporates even when approaching 65 years old. God made women versatile and with longevity. Retired men, on the other hand, can sleep through anything. It really is annoying, I would yearn to be a sound sleeper but my instincts are still keen.

My instincts are still honed in on school times too. After raising five children, you'd think I'd be ready to forget all those requirements but that's another thing God really forced into mothers. Our granddaughter lives with us and her father most of the time over sleeps - maybe he mentally relies on me - however, mentally I think I annoy him - and I don't give a hoot. We will be leaving on a undisclosed destination for an undisclosed time after we sell our home and they will all be on their own because I won't answer my cell phone. Talk about Tough Love - that's the name of the game. I'm too much of a patsy right now - just can't let my granddaughter be late for school, it's ingrained into my sense of responsibility.

Retirement is suppose to mean freedom and we have that maybe 33% of the time, the rest we do have responsibility to helping with granddaughter, but soon that will be cut off when we leave town for places unknown. This is a dream mind you - I feel as though I don't have much time to experience fun and the thrills of life before I crumble up so I am dreaming of the day when Bob and I can jump in the truck and say "hidi-ho.....adios!!" I'll keep you in informed.

Retirement on the positive side is playing with my computer any time I want. There are all sorts of moans and groans from the peanut gallery about my addiction to FaceBook, FarmTown, Twitter, my blogs, and emails, etc, but who cares. I have to give up playing my music at the volume I enjoy so I can sing as loud as I want (off key). Just because I am retired doesn't mean I have suddenly gained a beautiful tone to my singing but it does mean I can hide in my out of the way office and enjoy the melody to the fullest sense of my favorite music. But, there again, responsibility and consideration which has been instilled by the love from God prevents me from disturbing any sleeping bodies that may reside in the home off hours. I could use earphones to silence the music but the singing would probably be the most annoying, so why push it.

So, as I approach my 65th birthday in a couple weeks, I want to go to Disneyland, visit President Ronald Reagan's library in California, and see some friends in Huntington Beach, but I'm not sure this wish will be fulfilled. Wouldn't you think after all this time on this earth I could have this wish - - well, maybe, possibly. I'll let you know.

Finally, I have some girl-friends who do not enjoy having their husbands at home after they retire - one in particular told her husband she didn't want him to retire. As fate would have it, she died of cancer and because he was retired he took care of her until her last days on this earth. That was my brother who tenderly cared for her even though he realized how she felt. Sad! I do love my husband and I do love having him home and can't wait to head out in the truck traveling together. We have so much fun being retired, and I guess we've had fun most of our live together.

Life is so unpredictable and we never know what tomorrow will bring despite our dreams and hopes. It can be so frustrating when you want something so badly but have to settle for second best. It may be more comforting if I could accept second best as the best without realizing that may be the best of life at the time. Humor has been my daily dose of medicine to cover up disappointments. Hope is another virtue present that endures and pursuades the senses there is something better but it essential to have Faith. I know God is with me always and the reasons for my existance and my circumstances are His as He guides me along this Life path every day I am on this earth.