Today's reading - "You Never Know....Be Ready"

"Watch, therefore" you do not know when the lord of the house is coming, whether in the evening or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning" This from Mark 13:35

Be watchful, be ready. Cultivate eyes ready to see God in any and all places, any and all circumstances. You never know. Poof! Dante's "love that moves the sun and the other stars" right in front of you when you least expect it. Overwhelming grace when you least expect it. Watch. Be ready. Wake up!

from Living Faith, Daily Catholic Devotions

Christmas tree

Bob and I aren't the type of people who hurry up putting up Christmas decorations nor are we the type to be in a hurry to take them down. We decided this morning we would put up the Christmas tree on Monday and that is earlier than normal. Monday is Alexandra's 8th birthday so we thought it would be a good part of the celebration of her life to put up the tree on that day.

Alex's presence in our family brought joy to Bob and I in a year that was traumatic and filled with an awful void. Our son Brian who we had taken care of at home died in April, eight months later Alexandra was born. There is nothing on this earth that can replace the despair of the loss of a child, but the birth of a baby brings joy and a creation of new love. Bob and I had the blessing of being present when Alex was born - there is nothing more beautiful than the birth of a child, hearing the first cry and first breath and experiencing first hand a magnificent miracle which could only come from God's hand. Alex was an absolutely beautiful baby and today is a beautiful young lady. She has a love of God and is joyful and loving to everyone. God blessed her and gave us the ultimate pleasure of being her family.

As I was thinking of our celebrating and putting up the Christmas tree on Monday, I thought about last Christmas and our family. This year we will be minus one member and the thought brought me to tears and sadness. Tom was with us last year, but this year he is in Iraq. Even though we sent lots of boxes filled with gifts, goodies and even Christmas decorations, we can't do anything that will replace his presence with us on Christmas morning. We will be sad without him with us. I miss his presence around the house every day but you kind of take that loneliness for granted after awhile but celebrating the holidays, is a family event and it won't be complete without him home.

These two photos were taken last year. Tom and Alex had opened some of their gifts in the first photo and the second was Tom with his trombone he played in the Foothill High School Band. He was good too. By the way - you can click on the photos to enlarge them.

If you look closely, you can see the side of the stable on the table to the right of the photo. Bob made that stable for our second Christmas (1965) from twigs. We didn't have a lot of money. We are still using the same plastic figures we had then. We have put up our manger set every Christmas just as we are still placing our original Christmas Angel on the top of our tree - the one we bought for our first Christmas in 1964 - and she looks better than Bob and I - she's been well preserved. These are only a few of the family traditions that Bob and I have created during the forty-four years of our love.

Shopping on Black Friday

I was not one of those people who went shopping at 4 AM this morning. In fact, I was snuggled warmly in my comfortable bed. We are seriously conserving energy and keep the thermostat set low so it was rather chilly in our house.

It reminds me of the days when we stayed at Bob's grandparents on the farm. They had only the one huge intrusive heating unit in the middle of their small living room. When we spent the night we slept upstairs and our bed had a feather mattress. The house was very small - only five rooms and that included the screened in porch which was in use in the winter weather only to store things to be kept cold. The pump for the water was on the porch too - they didn't have running water. Oh, there was no bathroom, so we had to walk out to the outhouse, past the smoke house and the hen house. It was a one seater.

The floors in the home were wood covered with linoleum and during the winter the floors were very cold. The room upstairs was one long narrow small room. Incase you are a city slicker reading this you probably don't realize when there were no bathrooms or running water you had to carry your enamel potty w/lid with you and sit it somewhere by the bed where you wouldn't spill it. You just didn't want to go outside and find your way to the outhouse in the dark. There were no streetlights or big yard lights on the farm back then. Most people couldn't even afford to put outside lighting.

If you haven't experienced sleeping on a feather mattress then you have missed something unique and special. It's not a good thing in the summer time because it can be horribly hot and humid, but in the winter the feather mattress envelopes around your body and it is the best snuggle insulator on this earth. In the morning, when making the bed, it is necessary to use a wooden broom handle to beat the bed in shape and level it out otherwise it would look lumpy and uneven. The next chore would be to empty the potty.

I loved going to Bob's grandparents home even though there were very few modern conveniences. I remember bathing my baby boys in a big wash basin. I had to pump the water then heat some of the water on the stove - that she did have, they had a propane tank out in the back yard and she did have a gas stove. Her kitchen was small but she could sure cook up a storm. There's no one else on the face of this earth who could make homemade biscuits, fried chicken and fried apples like grandma could. Then in the summer time when she put out a garden I'd help her shell the lima beans, I'm sorry, but there ain't' nothing better than fresh tomatoes and cooked lima beans. And grandma's fried chicken wasn't anything like the stuff you bought in the store, hers was ssooooo good and delicious.

Those times were so precious and special to me. I'm glad I had the opportunity to experience that life never mind the inconveniences because I didn't see those things like that even though I was brought up in the city. It was the simple life and working for what you had and appreciating the peace and quiet of the country.

Happy Thanksgiving

The day has arrived, that one day we set aside to give thanks for our country and our blessings although I know many of us are grateful for everything we have everyday.

It has been raining here. I've been praying consistently for rain and that prayer answered is on the top of my Thanksgiving list today - it's even a little foggy which is awesome for this desert valley city. Bob and I woke up early this morning - another prayer answered.

Sending good wishes and prayers from our home to yours today that God blesses you with all your needs. Take good care as you may be the one who prepared the meals to be served to your family and company. Enjoy this Thanksgiving Day of 2008.

Please remember in your prayers the people in India who are suffering through the terrorists rage. We do have a lot to be thankful for that we woke up this morning and it was peaceful.

Turkey count down - 4...3...2...

It rained here today - Allelulia! It has rained almost all day and that is so grand! We have been in a drought condition for a couple of years now and we do have water rationing. We need lots and lots of rain as well as lots of snow up in the mountains. One of these days we'll get an answer to our prayers.

Well, I'm right on schedule with planned chores today except for putting the turkey in the marinate which I'll do before I go to bed. We had pizza for dinner and opened a bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau we purchased at Costco. I was surprised to see this particular wine in the large selection of wines Costco carries. We have purchased this wine every year from one of our favorite stores and this was a first from Costco. Some years the taste of the wine is absolutely awesome but this year it was alright, enjoyable but I didn't get excited over this taste. We did purchase several bottles to put aside. It isn't expensive. It is a French red wine, and we do enjoy it and look forward to this time of the year when our local liquor stores stock the wine. The bottles always have a unique label and to me that is an additional reason for collecting.

I hope you've had a good day today and have a good night's sleep and rest well.

Counting down as we go Over the river and through the woods, 4...3...

The aroma of the pumpkin pie - even though it is a Costco special, and the presence of the turkey, and the ingredients for the dressing brings the senses to an awareness that a special holiday is almost upon us.

This song of Over the river and through the woods by the Chipmonks reminds me of many over the highway and through the byway along the river we went to Bob's mom's house for Thanksgiving. The car knew the way because it had followed the same road many times before that day. It was cold and sometimes snowy as we made our journey north from Kentucky to Illinois. It took three hours and we tried to leave early and in those days of my youth, getting everyone ready to go was a snap and even leaving early didn't challenge my energy and ambition.

As you may imagine traveling with four kids at any age for any distance is no picnic but the reward was at the end of the road when we reached my mother-in-law's house. She would have many homemade pies of all flavors - whatever your flavor it was there. She made homemade yeast rolls and the aroma of the rolls smacked you upside your brain's smelling sensors the minute you opened the front door. She was an outstanding cook so it would go without saying the turkey was magnificent as was all of the side dishes. There was plenty of room for lots of people at her dinner table and lots of room to spread out.

It was typical for us to want to take a nap after eating the banquet meal but as was in those days, the women did the dishes while the men did get to nap. It was worth it just to be able to get up and away from the table and move around. I never minded helping with the dishes because it was an honor to be at her table on this special holiday.

There's only my family left to come to the dinner table at our home. Sometimes I cook those yeast rolls like my mother-in-law did, but I don't do the pies but have my own special desserts instead. My in-laws passed away some years ago, as did my own parents. We do give thanks for them before we indulge in our blessings on Thanksgiving.

There's no over the river and through the woods to get to our home because everyone except Suz lives here already. How time changes. We've almost regressed backward in time when whole families lived together due to the economy such as it was during the depression. Our country has not gotten quite that bad off yet. If you had been to Costco today you would wonder how anyone could even imagine there was a stock market problem. You had difficulty finding a parking spot and our Costco has a huge parking lot. The store was packed and everyone's basket was packed full with food. Amazing.

Tomorrow I will start pre-preparing some things so I'm not working so hard on Thursday. I hope you all are well. Sending you best wishes and prayers. Do take care and keep safe.

Counting down - 4........

Have you ever thought about your relationship with your Thanksgiving turkey? No, I don't mean your husband, if that's who came to mind! Back in Kentucky, we knew several guys who were avid hunters and would go turkey hunting during open season. In fact, Bob was telling me this morning, one friend who was the manager of the wildlife management area in our county would bring wild turkeys from Missouri to our wildlife area. It was an annual routine for these guys to head out during open season and do their manly thing hunting wild turkeys.

At one time, we did kill some of our old chicken hens, pluck the feathers and cook them but I've never had to put up a wild turkey and prepare it for a meal, and I thank Bob for not ever expecting me to do that job because after doing the job on the chickens, I would put a stop to doing a turkey. So gross! I guess the Pilgrims wives didn't have a choice and they were probably pretty happy to have a turkey to roast, oh, I guess they had to put the turkey on skewers over the open fired or in the fireplace somehow since they didn't have a cast iron roaster and an oven. Gads zooks, those were probably tough birds, no wonder they had wooden teeth in those early years of the settlers.
I'm grateful for the farmers who have raised the tame turkeys because I am sure the meat is 100% more tender than those wild turkeys - not to be confused with Wild Turkey Bourbon which can be drank with the Thanksgiving dinner, but has no relation to the actual wild turkey bird except the Wild Turkey Bourbon might be a good marinade - you think?

I complained in my previous posts of my difficulty to accomplish a nice tasty tender turkey the past couple of years so I am resorting to a recipe from Alton Brown on Food Network. I tried this recipe many years ago and it resulted in the best tasting turkey I'd ever made. It does require marinating over night in a large bucket. In previous years, our desert temperatures were warmer than we are having this year, so I've lucked out and can put the bucket with the marinate and some ice and the turkey of course, out in the garage and I can be confident the temp will be at a safe level. I did receive a tip from another grandma blogger who says she uses a needle to inject the marinate into the turkey and it is successful for her - that does sound like a good idea too - Emerill Lagasse was injecting his turkey too. Something to keep in mind for another time.

I have one more trip to the grocery tomorrow to pick up last minute stuff like the french bread which I use for the dressing and some herbs which I may not have on hand for the marinade. Not too big of a deal this year and not as much food. Our grocery store was having lots of sales of two for one things so we lucked out and got some nice savings which I am sure we all appreciate right now.

We will be one less person at our table this year - Tom who is at Camp Taji, Iraq. I've asked him what they will be doing and he said there were a couple things planned. When we had flown to Germany when Brian was in the hospital in Landstuhl, Germany, after his accident, we were there through Thanksgiving and we ate in the hospital cafeteria with the troops. The food was delicious but that was an unforgettable experience. Brian was in intensive care.

Tom says they have a nice chow hall at the base and the food is good. Tom wouldn't complain though and never says anything negative. The only thing he has told me is to stop sending candy. He works out every day and tries to keep perfectly fit. We really will miss him at our dinner table this year. We have next year to look forward to having him with us.

Frozen turkey

Alias, I have gone back on my word, my agitation has diminished, I am on the fence of being almost excited about, can you guess, yes, it's meeting face to face, hand to hand with the frozen turkey. I regressed from my negativity and frustration when I read the grocery stores ads last week offering turkeys "buy one get one free" especially Butterballs. I do have to insert here, the Butterballs haven't been all that I've expected but then the past couple of years of cooking turkeys I haven't had any successful tasty cooked bird at least in my humble opinion of my cooking and expectations. I also must explain without length verbiage that recently my frustration has been with an non-compliant assistance cooking/cleaning house resident staff. As the advancing of age has interfered with my physical movements by placing restrictions and pain on my limbs, my energy and enthusiasm to be on my feet for a whole day is not as appealing as it was in my younger years. I have always loved to cook so it is very discouraging not to receive the support from the "boarders and hoarders" air apparent (don't know what that means - it just fits here). So, IF there was to be a Thanksgiving dinner at the Sullivan's this years there must be something done. I have grown tired and weary of begging, sobbing, moaning and groaning, yelling and screaming for help and the thought of passing out a tin cup for them to go beg on the street corner did cross my mind, but oh well, that's gross when we do have so much here in our home. Am I being nasty, yeah, probably, but well, I'm the cook and I do have one good assistant who is always there - my chief bottle washer and my hubby. So, the plan is on.

I have a plan, a menu, the ingredients are purchase with the exception of a couple last minute things, and so we are ready to get started. Because of my limitations and my desire to limit the size of our eyeballs and stomachs and behinds I have downsized the dessert, but nothing else, well, actually, I may eliminate a couple things because I haven't found a solution to make the preparation easier without help - so because of this, they will do without - maybe that will show them!!!! Either offer assistance or you don't get that traditional "you know what!" dish you always get at Thanksgiving. Evil, jeannie meannie appearing, please forget me Lord, I do know what I'm doing and after all you do give me these "people" to help, and right now this is the best I can do.

I have been talking to God about my feelings and problems. I know He has His hands full with the prayers of the politicians and the auto makers and their big bail outs, and the people who are out of work and so many other more important problems in our world, like Iraq, so my requests for strength for preparing our Thanksgiving dinner is very inconsequential. And so I realized that I should just forget sending in my request for physical assistance at this time and request spiritual guidance to accept. I know God has given me pretty good stamina and creativity and I'll make do. And, I do want to thank our Lord for all He have given us - I am grateful for all our blessings. I know in my heart He does give to each of us what we can handle. I am not sure I go along completely with some of that philosophy. I know that does goes along with the idea of the "grass is greener on the other side" and that if we really had a choice of the other side and we saw what they had to go through, we'd keep our yard, and that's how I feel and will try to do my best every day with His help.

Dear Lord, I do thank you for all your blessings, and the trials that have helped me grow in faith and spirit. Please bless these fine folks who read my blog, and all our family and friends. Keep them safe and sound. Oh, and Lord, please, send each of them a special blessing today, a surprise, that will make them stop and know it was your Holy Spirit visiting them.

Peggy, our milk cow

Once upon a time, we owned a farm in western Kentucky. We were two city slickers and one of us had the lifetime dream of having a farm, guess who that was? Like a message from Above, a piece of property became available next door to Bob's grandparents and we heard about it before anyone could snatch it up. We packed up our belongings and our four kids and made the journey from Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts, to Wickliffe, Kentucky, in the middle of January. It was a long cold drive, but the thoughts of dreams fulfilled kept the spirits warm.

We were to purchase many chickens, geese, rabbits (which he had in Buzzards Bay), we also bought a few cows and a bull, and down the road we tried our hand at raising pigs. The pig story will have to wait for another time because it was a laughable experience for me.

We weren't through with the dreams, his next adventure was to have a milk cow, and that's where Peggy came in. She looked very similar to the Guernsey in the picture above, I couldn't find an actual photo of our Peggy at this moment. I didn't get in on the milking but it was the job of Bob and the boys. She gave us lots of good rich milk and it was my job to be creative with recipes to use up all that milk. I learned to make cheeses of all sorts and ice cream too. The kids never had to be told no for having an extra glass of cold milk or hot chocolate.

This morning I thought of Peggy more intently than I have in a few years since we left the farm. I use to make rice pudding all the time with Peggy's milk - it was so good and rich. I'm making rice pudding from scratch this morning. With each ingredient I add and each stir, I think of Peggy and give thanks for the blessings of nutrition and enjoyment she brought to our lives on the farm. I also made some good potato soup with her milk too. Ummm Yum!

Peggy was a good ole gal - a really good milk cow and very much part of the Sullivan family.

We have lots to be thankful for in our everyday lives. I am grateful to have had the experience of living on a productive farm. The work was hard and it was a daily commitment with crops and livestock, but it was worth every minute. It was havesting the fruits of the land God has provided for us. Today I thank God every day for all the blessings He has brought into my life no matter how small.

I hope you are having a blessed day and all is going well with you today. May the Good Lord be with you and protect you.

Another weekend come and gone......

Busy weekend here, putting soldier's packages together, and odds and ends. I looked forward to a relaxful Sunday when a surprise visitor came to call - the stomach flu, icky, yucky! Thank you Lord, it didn't stay long and a good rest was helpful to survive plus chicken soup made at the hands of hubby. Heading to the kitchen to play UNO with granddaughter Alex.

I hope you have a great and blessed week - good health too. Talk to you in a day or too. God bless and keep you.

Packages for a Soldier

I can't quite take it all in yet just how quickly this year has passed. With Thanksgiving in two weeks buying a turkey is the usual custom. Are you cooking this Thanksgiving? And, what are your family's holiday traditions?

I shared in an earlier post about the first Thanksgiving dinner Bob and I shared. The episode of the case of the hidden gizzard bag is high on our list of memories. Our traditional menu has been the same for as long as I can remember whether it was a houseful of extended family or just us and the kids. The kids always request the same things. I haven't been feeling real energized for a couple of months and was considering not cooking dinner and I didn't want to go out. Alias, out of the clear blue sky I had a thought to use disposable cooking pans, paper plates and prepared food, for example, CostCo sells a prepared mashed potato dish that is delish! although there's no better mashed potatoes than mine so we'll think about that, and there's the dressing. I have changed up my recipe for dressing over the years I came across a recipe from one of the Food Network cooks and since then I've adopted the principles of that recipe adding my own ingredients. It takes more time but is the best dressing ever - that is if you like dressing. Sometimes I stuff the turkey and sometimes I don't - depends on my time.

I'd love to hear your ideas and traditions. If you click on my profile, my email address is listed there.

I packed up three boxes for our Soldier Tom and we'll take them to the post office this morning. I have more stuff to pack but want to stretch the mailings out. I know there's only a couple of weeks more to go before the ending deadline for mailing boxes reaching Iraq so I want to be early.

Saturday is the Blue Star Mom's meeting for our area and they will be putting boxes together for the troops. I went to Bath and Body Works - my very favorite store - and bought a few things for the seven females on our group's list. We'll be stopping by and hoping we can help. We'll have Alexandra on Saturday because Kevin is working - so maybe she can pitch in and help too.

We haven't heard from Tom for about a week now - and I get concerned especially when I hear about the bombings north of Baghdad. I have a map of the area of Baghdad and surrounding U. S. military bases, so I can zone in on exactly where the bombings are and how close they are to him.

I am humbled when I think of the mothers who have several members of their family serving in Iraq or Afghanistan at the same time. They must be very strong to handled the worry and concern everyday, especially if their solder is in combat. I am sure God blesses them with special attributes and strength of spirit.

Our prayers are with all our military personnel no matter where they are stationed. They are serving and protecting our country and we appreciate their sacrifices.

Prayer Shawl

I started a Prayer Shawl for my aunt last year. It was to be her Christmas present but unfortunately my expectations for my commitment of completion was set too high. And, at the pace I am going, I will probably be 110 years old before I finish it.

I learned to knit in 1967. Bob and I had moved back to Las Vegas from Missouri and we only had the two boys. I decided to take a knitting class which was being taught at the Sears store in Las Vegas on Maryland Parkway. The store is still there today which is a miracle in today's economy. I've never been a big kntter but did tackle house slippers for Christmas presents for everyone once. We didn't have a lot of money early on but both Bob and I did have skills to make things so homemade gifts were primarily what we were able to give to our extended family in place of store bought items.

The instructions for making the Prayer Shawl can be found on the internet - just google "prayer shawl" and it will come up - if you have any question, email me and I'll try to help. It is a very simple project - knit one row, purl the next, but there are rules to be carried out while you are knitting hence the prayer shawl. I selected to do this for my Aunt Thelma. She is my mom's sister and I have been "close" to her since I was a little kid. My mom's family are fun loving people and they all live in Ohio. I remember going to my grandma's for Christmas and everyone was always laughing. Grandma was sick and had to be taken care of by my aunts and my mom and dad helped sometimes too. But, the whole atmosphere in the family was a good time. Every time I talk to my aunt today we always laugh about something so silly - I know someone else would think we were koocoo! I miss getting together will my mom's family as does happen in all families - kids grow up and move away as I did when my parents and I moved from Ohio to Las Vegas in 1960. And, many of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents and my parents are in Heaven, so as naturally happens - things change.

I still keep in touch with my Aunt Thelma and we still laugh a lot even though she has many health problems. She has a wonderful husband and I love him dearly too. I use to ride my bike to their house after they were first married. Aunt Thelma made the best mashed potatoes in the whole wide world.

So, here I am today, still persevering with the Prayer Shawl. The rule is prayer, of course, you must pray for the person you are making the shawl for as you are knitting. It is a loving privilege to be making it but it will be an imperfect shawl I know I have dropped a couple of stitches and maybe started the row the wrong way when I started a new row. Each stitch is made with love. I look forward to the day I complete my prayer shawl and can wrap it in pretty paper and present it to my Aunt Thelma.

Veteran's Day

These are photos taken at the Veteran's Cemetery in Boulder City, Nevada. The Boy Scouts put one of these flags at each military serviceperson's grave site. It is an all inspiring humbling picture to experience first hand.

While we give remembrances to those who have served and have gone on to Heaven, we must remember those troops that are serving today. We hold a special place in our heart for Tom and all his buddies who are serving in Iraq, Korea and other bases away from home today. We keep all the troops in our prayers everyday with special gratitude for their sacrifices for our country and our families.

Please remember all our veteran's on this Veteran's Day!

Marriage Encounter and TEC

When Bob and I were young and we had a lot of energy even though we worked hard on the farm, we were also very active in our local Catholic Church. I started a Youth Group and worked with the teens. They were a good group and we had them out to our farm from time to time on hay rides and parties too.

What brought this to mind is I am shredding lots of paper stuff right now - bills, old letters, etc, and I came across the spiral booklets that Bob and I wrote in when we made a Marriage Encounter and I found my spiral booklet that I kept for TEC and I was a leader. Marriage Encounter is something for a marriage that is good but the purpose of TEC is to make the marriage better. And, it did for us. I didn't read through all the old pages except for one and it was Bob's writing. I mentioned what he wrote to him and we had to laugh. It is difficult working long hard hours, raising a family and meeting all your responsibilities then have something left at the end of the day to keep the sparks alive when you go to bed with your spouse at night.

There is something very reassuring being married as long as we have, it is a comfort level. It's a pleasure for me whe Bob is around, sometimes, the feeling is similar but better than when we were young. We don't do as much amorous stuff like we did when we were younger for a couple of reasons - there are still people living with us (I can't wait until we will have a home and be alone!!) and too, age does things to the physical side of one of the spouses - I won't get too personal. But, what we do do when we do it we have more fun and we appreciate everything we do together because we love each other so much and we appreciate what we have together. We hold hands all the time and it is sensuous. It is also security. It you are young (or old!) and eligible to do a Marriage Encounter if they have it in your area Catholic Church or other Christian Church, try to do it - it is a wonderful experience. Really, it will help make your communication better.

TEC was Teens Encounter Christ and I don't know if this is still an active organization. Our's was in Kentucky. It is basically for high schoolers and I can't remember the ages. It was an awakening for the teens and brought them closer to Christ. It was a wonderful experience for me too. One of the TECs I worked on my son Brian attended and I felt so privilege to be there with him. Brian was a good person and had a deep commitment to God and his family.

It is a beautiful day here. I am doing laundry and shredding stuff - - and I get to listen to my music at the level I enjoy because I am back in the corner of the house where I am alone and it is such a nice day I can have both windows open and enjoy the birds and hummingbirds too.

I hope you are enjoying your day and God has blessed you with many gifts today. Tomorrow is Veteran's Day, but I hope we can go to the cemetery tonight to visit Brian. He is buried at the Boulder City Veteran's Cemetery in Boulder City. They will have a big memorial service tomorrow, but I am a "chicken" - I get too upset even after all these years and would rather grieve in private.

Take care.

Beach Ball Belly

It rained this morning - hurrah! There are a couple of things Bob misses living here in the desert and rain is number one. We are in a drought situation here so when we do have a few raindrops I do a dance hoping it rains all day. Maybe I should stop dancing because we haven't had a all day rain in years at least not in our neighborhood.

We've talked about moving to areas of the country where there are four seasons. When that melancholy mood comes over him I like to remind him of those rainy and snowy days we experienced on the farm - not that we would raise crops again but the thought provokes the desired effect I strive for in our discussion. Mud and shoveling! I remember many occasions of him saying "I don't want to shovel snow" and he couldn't wait to move out west. Are some people never happy? Truce, compromise, solution. After we sell our big home and move into a tiny place easier to keep clean and tidy, we'll travel, and stay weeks on end in those places that have snow and rain, then we'll come home to the desert and enjoy the dry air.

Not much happening here today - all is quiet on our home front since everyone is still sleeping. Bob and I got up early to watch our CBS Sunday Morning program which we have watched for years. We'll just hang around and I may pack boxes to ship off to Soldier Tom for the holidays. He wrote last night and mentioned he is working on another promotion. He's got it in him - I am glad he has found his place - you know sometimes we don't know what will bring out the best in us. We're all challenged differently. We're proud of him and he's doing a great job serving with the U. S. Army in Iraq.

Ms. Alexandra has moved into a new phase of childhood - the era of makeup. Suz gave Alex some mascara and Alex already had some eye shadow. She came out her room a couple of days ago and I was shocked to see her with make up on - she looked too grown up for me!!! I told her that her dad wouldn't like it. Although I didn't quite approve, I know it was a day she would be inside, I didn't have her take it off, but we did have a talk about the proper time to wear makeup and how much is acceptable at her age. Well, yesterday since it was Kevin's day off, they were going to the big park on the other side of town. Alex has great taste in fashion and usually wants to wear inappropriate clothes to casual events so when her dad raised his voice as they were getting ready to leave I thought that was the reason. I was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table and raised my head to ask what was going on and Kev explained about the too much makeup and the over dressed look. It's all just beginning. He said she was only seven but she said "I'm eight!' although that's not really true - she has a couple more weeks for that. She did leave the house without makeup on and none too happy.

Too soon!!! Everything is too soon for the children today - they have too much too soon. Back in the day when we were raising our kids the competition wasn't as strong as it is today. I don't understand why today's parents strive to make their kids grow up so fast and give them things they should either earn or receive when they are old enough to be responsible for what they receive. Isn't this an age old question? I could say I am glad I don't have to raise anymore children as a 64 year old grandmom, but actually, I am responsible on some days when my son is at work and I have to care for her. I know a lot of grandparents are in the same place today as I am and that's a whole other blog.

Hope you have a blessed Sunday.

Nineteen years ago today

This day marks the nineteenth anniversary of son Brian's accident while he served with the U. S. Army in Stuttgart, Germany. The accident left him with severe brain damage and respiratory problems.

Housecleaning

For as long as I can remember, Saturday has always been housecleaning day because it was the day off from school and work. After I was married and became a stay at home mom, I still did the main job of housecleaning, maybe because Sunday was the day of rest and company and cooking dinners, so the house needed to be clean. Today, it's just a matter of routine and it seems to fit.

Aside from that, I have a couple of books I've started reading and a knitting project which is extremely easy - no counting required. I will probably never finish it and I can legitimately say that because I started it last year as a Prayer Shawl for my Aunt in Ohio and I've only completed about 20 rows or 4 inches and I need lots more than that for a decent length shawl. I am not a committed knitter but it is good therapy.

What are you doing for Thanksgiving? I am feeling poorly these days and I am not sure I'll cook Thanksgiving dinner. As I was typing this, I remembered the first Thanksgiving Bob and I had together. We lived in Woodland Hills, California, in an apartment. I worked at a bank which was across the street from the apartment complex and he worked at the Sears store in Canoga Park. He was fresh out of the Air Force and couldn't find a job in Las Vegas where we had met and married. I lived in Vegas with my parents, had graduated high school and went straight to work at the telephone company after graduation, and within a year promoted to supervisor. I realized soon that Bob had wanderlust and we would travel a lot in our first 10 years of marriage.

At our apartment, our dining room table sat by the large picture window. We both had shopped for the food for our first Thanksgiving meal. I had some knowledge of cooking since my mom was a super cook and tried her best to teach me - any failures were my fault because she tried and I resisted because I had other things to do but I did observe and didn't know it. I can't remember exactly what we had for our first Thanksgiving dinner but it must have been traditional as that is what my family had. The table was set with china and the good silver and tablecloth too - we didn't have a lot of money, but I had been prepared with a Hope Chest of dinnerware and pots and pans when I married.

With everything cooked, table set, and the candles lit, we were ready to enjoy the fruits of our labors and we were hungry. Bob sliced into the turkey and what we found was very puzzling - weird, and ugly! Yuck! Can you guess? Are you still wondering? I wonder how many times this has happened to young brides when they cook a turkey for the very first time. It seemed as though all was lost - there it was, that bag, yes, that bag of gizzards, uncooked, with yucky juices running out all over my beautiful Thanksgiving platter. Oh, woe is me! I can't remember anything else, but thinking our dinner was ruined!!!! That is only one of the many "tragic" happenings that was to occur in our marriage, and one of those things we just don't seem to forget but can laugh at years later.

What can't be forgotten is the memory of the event and the thanksgiving we shared for finding each other and for our life together - that was back in 1964.

"Coming Around Again"

Ever since the first time I heard Carly Simon's song "Coming Around Again" I loved the beat and the words. It is the theme song for a really good movie with Merle Streep about a marriage trying to survive with social complications - work, raising a child, and family problems. Ms. Streep is one of the best female actresses, although, Sophia Loren is my choice for all round most beautiful actress.

I received a comment from another Grandma who lost her son a couple of years back - I guess we are soul sisters! She expressed her hope that "my spending spree" would be helpful and my reply is that we did have a great time. Perhaps it's just getting out with my boyfriend, lover and best friend, my husband.

Woke up at 4 AM this morning, I don't know why - but coffee in the morning always is our temptress and entices me awake for some dumb reason. We automatically turn the TV to channel 21 - we are committed to Fox Network News - I'm throwing a fit because of the overwhelming negative McCain campaign coverage from the other cable and local news stations, we give our faithful allegiance to Fox. They have everything we require and give us what we expect from a news reporting channel.

Our nation is in a financial mess. It showed most every store we were in. We went to the mall yesterday to Bath and Body Works - my very favorite place for body lotion and smelly good stuff. I belong to the Blue Star Mom's association and the local group will be putting together Christmas stockings for deployed soldiers. We went to Bath and Body Works to get some things for the female soldiers on the list. I hope they like what I picked out.

We have a new small local mall being built about two miles from the house. The stores that are already open are Target and Hallmark, and a big sports store. I thought maybe the Hallmark store would have a Nativity set for Tom. I've always enjoyed going into the Hallmark store because there's so much stuff to look at - and "buy." Regretfully, they didn't have a Nativity set like I wanted but Bob came up with a great idea - he found an ornament that was precious and it was small so not to take up too much room which is a big consideration when buying for Tom since they don't have a lot of space in their rooms on the base. I'm glad Bob picked this out because we didn't find anything comparable anywhere else. I'm finding the pickings slim and although there seems to be a lot of "stuff" the merchandise is limited and a small selection - the slow economy is apparent everywhere. A good thought - choose wisely when making out your Christmas list.

The highlight of the day was making the acquaintance of the two salesgirls in the Hallmark Store. They were both very helpful and courteous but the icing on the cake was their personalities - they were both hilarious. It was early in the morning so Bob and I were the only customers. One of the girls was about the age of our youngest son, and the other about the age of our oldest grandson. I had told the girls about our situation here at home with our adult children and granddaughter living here, and they both immediate in unison blurted out the name of a movie and they were laughing hysterically saying the movie is so much like our home life and that "we just had to watch it." I cannot remember the name of the movie - but Sarah Jessica Parker and Matt McConnehey were the stars of the movie. These girls were a "riot." They made us laugh so hard - they were so much fun. Oh, and the husband of one of the girls is serving with the Air Force and is in Korea.

Shopping whether I spend lots of money or a couple of bucks is good therapy. The news about the economy is bleak and is reflective of the people not shopping. There weren't a lot of people shopping at the mall but Costco was packed and always is - I don't get it. Today is another box packing day for Soldier Tom and house cleaning too. It's a beautiful day outside too - great fall weather here. How about all that snow up north in the Dakota's?

I'd better get busy - so you all take good care and God bless.

Diagnosis to heal stress and disappointment: Spend some money

I can think of several ways of healing the blues - drowning our sorrows by downing a couple bottles of wine; playing tiddlelywinks with man-hole-lids; scrubbing the garage floor with a toothbrush and comet cleanser and spending money. Which one would you choose? Can you guess which one we selected?

It was another nice fall day here in southern Nevada. After packing a box to mail Soldier Tom in Iraq, I took a shower and did my hair and even put on makeup. My husband has been suggesting I needed a new hairdo since my current one is obviously very un-done purposely - but since I haven't left the house in five days now, what's the point of a new do or make up - who's going to notice? No kidding!

Depression can be a pretty iffy thing and between Bob and I we have various means of solving that mood - and there are different strengths of depression. The depressive mood is as a result of last night and is politically motivated which leaves us with few alternatives because we can't change anything except our attitude. So our solution to our depressive disposition was to visit the malls. With coupons in hand we hit the road this morning.

Actually, our main shopping purpose was to get stuff for Soldier Tom for the holidays. I am looking for a small Nativity set to send him. I don't want anything too expensive or large or even breakable and I have found nothing to date - but I will keep looking. Tom is pretty independent and doesn't want us to send him any gifts. They don't wear civilian clothes so that eliminates that area, and he buys his own games and DVDs, etc, so I haven't come up with much except one thing that I won't mention - and lots of goodies. I hear from other military moms some of the things they send their Soldiers who are deployed and that helps.

The stores I have visited this week seem disorganized. I would have thought the Christmas stuff would be in order, but either they are cutting back on their merchandise due to the stock market turn down or everyone is late (or maybe I'm early!). We'll be going back out tomorrow and check out other stores we have had good luck with in years past. These are very inexpensive odds and ends I'm looking for to send Soldier Tom for Christmas decorations so it's not something extravagant from a speciality store. There is a deadline to send boxes to the military with APO addresses so I don't want to drag my feet now - you know how time gets away all too quickly.

We had a good relaxingly day today and bought a few things. This old senior citizen feeling is for the buzzards because we wear out after walking around only a couple of stores. Some days are better than others but we do the best we can, but we do have fun while we're at it.

Let us all keep our new President-elect Barack Obama and his family in our prayers. May God bless and keep him and guide him in his decision that are best for our country not for any one's selfish opportunity. Please, God, help us to accept the decision the majority of voting Americans have made because we have prayed Your will be done. Thanks you God, for our many blessings.

Hope you have a very nice evening and pleasant dreams.

It's over and the voters have spoken...............

We are quiet here in our home tonight, solemn, sad, remorseful and disappointment, but sort of expectant and a little bit prepared for the news. We have a new leader - President-elect Barack Obama not John McCain as we had so hoped.

We know both John McCain and Sarah Palin will go back to their respective jobs as Senator and Governor - but we will miss them. They both became part of our daily household. I want to tell them how sorry I am they didn't win. I wanted to see more of their families - their beautiful families.

Our prayers and best wishes are with each of them - and yes, we really will miss them.

Election Day

The voting polls close here in Nevada at 7 PM tonight and that's approximately 10 hours from now, but the final decision for who won the nomination for President may be decided before that time and someone may concede.

I recall when Senator Bob Dole was running against Bill Clinton. I had to wait until election day evening to vote and until my husband got home. He went straight to vote when he got off work. It was dark as I parked my vehicle near the grade school voting station. I was listening to a local radio station and as I turned off the engine they made the announcement that the one I was voting for was conceding and proclaimed Bill Clinton the winner. I was devastated. I hadn't even voted yet - I wanted to scream at them, to wait, there were still more people voting. But no, all that business with the TV stations tallying up the percentages and possibilities either made people stay home, and they projected what came to be the inevitable. It was a very destructive experience to me.

I went into the building to vote anyhow and there was still a long line even as late in the evening as it was. I met people I had never seen from our neighborhood before, it was very crowded. I was there for a couple of hours. I already knew the destiny of my vote, but I did vote, and I would do it again because it is my duty, my right, and my responsibility as an American citizen to let my voice be heard.

Faith

For us Catholics - it's All Saint's Day. and tomorrow All Souls. I have to admit, I have failed to be a faithful follower of my Church. I don't mean rejecting the beliefs, I mean following the rules as I should - I am a halfway follower right now. A situation happened at the church we are donating parishioners of and the action of that person of high stature in our church changed my attitude of attendance. I am not without guilt and I do have hope of return. Having attended Catholic school all my life, I cannot ever lose the attachment to the values I was taught, nor do I want to. Being away from my Catholic family in Ohio for so many years has probably played a role in my feelings too because when I go home, it's all back to normal there. Moving to a place where there's no "sharing" and "comfort" it's easy to slide away too.

One of my life's disaster caused the Faith in my Father to be strained and it was when my son died. At that time, I had deep deep hope and enormous trust and I gave my son all my strength caring for him. As a mother, I think, we feel as though we can do anything for our children because we gave birth to them - after all we brought them into this world. And, when something bad happens to them, we think we can solve their every problem. I took this challenge on when we brought Brian home from the VA hospital. The medical team there said Brian would be dead within a short time - he wouldn't survive outside the medical environment. I proved them wrong and healed him of the awful bed sores he had developed in the VA hospital, helped his contracted limbs to straighten out to some degree and he gained weight. He looked so much better. But as in all things and those things which cannot be answered, he wasn't to survive or recover from his brain injuries and other health problems. He lived for nine years after we brought him home from the VA hospital. He died at home.

My faith changed when Brian died. All the strength I had I gave him. Not only Brian, but right after we bought Brian home, we discovered our daughter had a mental disability and then we raise her son because of her inability to accept any responsibility for herself or her son. We had our other children who were having problems, and then my husband - he was always first in my life and now this time we had to share the commitment and still try to make quality time for each other. We made it but it wasn't an easy task. I know we were both Blessed with an abundance of love for each other and our convictions.

I've been through many trials and tribulations, but losing Brian tarnished my faith and hope. It's been eight years since Brian passed away and it has been a battle to get to the place I was in my faith before his death. I may never reach that place again, but in my heart where even I find complete faith I hope that I find comfort. I have not stopped praying for our needs and the needs of others, I know He hears my prayers and I know that it is I who is not Feeling - I know that God is always there - I know it is I who hasn't reached out and maybe because I haven't "forgiven" Him for taking Brian from me. Please don't give me the argument that Brian is in a better place - - I KNOW that, I wouldn't want him back to what he was, I know that he is better, but I miss him so. I know what a difference he would have made in our family. I know what a good person he is and he would have helped Tom and he would have been a good influence on his brothers and sister when they had problems. He would have given us beautiful children, he had a wonderful girlfriend who was devoted to him. Those thoughts are all my unattainable dreams. Today I go on everyday attempting to deal with the problems at hand and seeing joy in the people around me as they bring their presence to me daily.

A mother never gets over the loss of a child. When a child dies, so does a part of her. The child is always alive in her, but words are not exchanged. No matter how long ago they pass away, the tears never go away.

Brian's accident was on November 8th, 1989. He was serving with the U. S. Army in Stuttgart, Germany. That day changed the course of our life forever.