Accomplishment

During the wee hours of the morning when I lay in bed wide awake and know it is just too early to get up, I can organize my day very well but once I get up and at it, I am a failure at putting it to work. Making lists have been a routine part of any endeavor I take on, but lately even the projects on the lists take days and weeks to accomplish. I begin with enthusiasm and end with disappointment knowing that at one point in my life when I was younger this would never have happened.

The meditation in the "Living Faith" booklet from yesterday reminds us to listen to the words of Our Lord and those who do will be like a "wise man who built his house on rocks" The writer says "Jesus may be saying that His words need to make a noticeable difference in how you use your time." Also "what matters is that we keep trying to act on Jesus words and not give up, no matter what, trusting that our loving Father can make good things happen, even through our feeble efforts." The reading is from Matthew 7:24.

We have individuals in our family who have struggles and their struggles impact first hand our family lifestyle in our home. I have realized these situations have a great deal to do with how I progress with my daily lists. As a result of being subjected to their struggles daily, trying to focus on my own personal needs and directives has become very difficult and often results in my failure to succeed. It would seem the easy answer would be to banish the "difficulties" but there are times when that isn't the answer. Change is our ultimate goal and that can't be attained yet, so dealing with it is the only answer. I do pray diligently everyday both for my family and friend's needs and requests but I also ask God to help me make it through the day in a positive direction. Achieving a positive attitude and behavior is my weakness because I do let the external problems affect my inner being and fail to be feel the spirit that is trying to lead me to wisdom and perseverance and to conquer the turmoil within our home. I can read and hear but the words aren't penetrating. My bad behavior is increasingly becoming out of control. I am accomplishing less and less. I know I must get back to basics and focus on what is important for me spiritually.

I have a long list today and I know if I accomplish most of what's written I will be content. No matter what the external turmoil, I am thankful for the gifts God has given me. He sent me a husband who listens and tries to help when I am down and makes me laugh through the tears of frustration. Today, I will firmly make every attempt to open my heart to hear the words of Jesus and visualize His presence beside me today.