Taming a Retired Husband

Yes, you read it correctly, this post is about taming an ole man. I know they say in all the magazines that when we get married the first thing a woman wants to do is change her husband. I wonder who came up with that idea - probably a man. I am beyond changing anything much less my husband, as mentioned before I've been with this guy a long time. He has mellowed as time as time has passed and his health has caused him to slow down.

Once the kids moved on to do their thing even though one or the other of them have never moved out or they moved back in but that stage in life changed the dynamics in the home when they reached that age of their own independence. I was a stay at home mom when they were small but once the kiddies reached the age of "flying the coop" I went to work full time and took college courses at night.

Even with the changes of the live bodies in and out of the house, the house has always been my domain. When I sat a lamp on a table, it stayed there through dust and polish. When I arranged flowers in a vase and sat them on the dinner table, they were there until long after the flower pedals fell. When I placed the coffee pot in a specific place that was easy to access it stayed there. Other than mother-in-law, no one else chose or dared to rearrange anything in my domain. It was all mine! I liked it that way!

I had no desire or even thought to venture into Bob, my husband's, workshop to rearrange anything. I knew where he kept the things I may need like an extention cord and after using it, I rolled it back up and put it back where I got it. The only thing, I couldn't wind it up like the guys do - you know, loop one loop inside of the other so it's hanging by loops which is pretty cool. I had respect for his environment and without another thought about it, that was the way it was, and still is.

I heard all the horror stories of men retiring. The stories were scary! I know some men disappeared completely to places like a golf course or tennis course for days on end, other husbands went hunting and fishing - the wives of these men were delighted. I thought there must be something wrong with these women. I love being with my husband and we have fun!!!! YEAH, RIGHT!!!!! What a wuss!!! Could I have been taking too many happy pills (no not really, but could my thyroid medication have been too strong?)

He's been retired almost three years. The lamp doesn't look the same, yes, he moved it. The coffee pot goes through a daily realignment - although I have to hand it to him, he does make the coffee everyday now and it's good! He does follow me around the house and asks "what are you doing?" "what are you eating?" "where are you going?" and the really best is when I am doing private stuff, he looks all over the house for me until he finds me in that private spot and says "oh, there you are!" - "is it time to eat?" Forget any continuity cleaning the house especially the kitchen even with a warning of "I'm washing the kitchen floor now" the ice machine works better when the floor is still wet.

The nice thing about his retirement is I do get to see his precious smile and handsome face most anytime of the day I want. He is available to open a jar of pickles which helps since as I have aged, I've lost strength. I use to be able to throw a bale of hay and move heavy rocks and kids and my 6 ft 4 disabled son in his bed, but no more. My husband is my strength and although there are days when he drives me out of my mind, I don't know what I would do without him.

He has a subtle sense of humor and is a good tease. We play hide and seek in our large home and we still tickle each other. He laughs at me when I am mad and it makes me more angrier but then I can't take it and have to giggle too. He helps me around the house and tries to cook too. I do have an issue with him when he misuses my good pots and pans, so rather than complain, I bought him his own.

I am enjoying this Retirement Heaven as we rock our life away with our youngins and next generation of youngins around us. I'll put up with sharing my domain just to have this time of my life with him beside me - till death do us part!